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Video: "Presidential Candidate" Guarantees Free Chinese Food
By
Ben Yakas
Published Aug 14, 2011
Modified Aug 14, 2011
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Aug 14, 2011
Modified Aug 14, 2011
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The field of candidates potentially running for president against Barack Obama is thin, to say the least: Tim Pawlenty dropped out after seeing his shadow; Newt Gingrich doesn't really want to win; Herman Cain thinks Donna Summer is a poet; Rick Perry is still praying for rain; Michelle Bachmann is busy eating a corn dog; Jon Huntsman talks too quietly; Rick Santorum has a dirty name; Sarah Palin is too busy planning her RV reality show; and Ron Paul is...just Ron Paul. What this country really needs is a candidate who'll stand up to Big Chinese Food—someone who'll cut back on the MSG, get the rats out of your Chicken Chow Fun, and provide free chinese food for the whole country every Saturday night after 5 p.m.:
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campaign promises
chinese food
presidential candidate
subway
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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