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New Sign Of The Apocalypse: Mysterious Green Goo?
By
Ben Yakas
Published Jan 20, 2011
Modified Jan 20, 2011
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Jan 20, 2011
Modified Jan 20, 2011
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At the start of 2011, the apocalypse officially got underway with a series of terrifying, inexplicable events, including thousands of birds falling from the sky, thousands of crabs washing ashore dead, and reports that sea levels are on the rise. Today, we may have a new addition to add to that web of doomsday tokens: a mysterious greenish-yellow goo fell from the sky onto the town of upstate Snyder, NY, leaving homes caked in the strange substance. And officials have yet to determine what caused it or where it came from.
Residents say the material appeared between 9 a.m. and midnight last Tuesday. "We have contacted our emergency services people and we also have a waste water treatment plant in town and the interim engineer for that is trying to get the debris tested," said Lisa Kistner, a spokeswoman for the town supervisor. Officials first thought it might be "blue ice," the frozen human excrement known to fall from passing jetliners, but it was determined that the goo was not from an aircraft. Some experts believe it could be bird droppings, but even so, they are still baffled by the coloring of the goo.
But one resident has her own wild theory according to Kistner, and it's a doozy: "She said it's actually because the seagulls eat fast food at McDonald's, which upsets their digestive tract. They were eating French fries out of paper bags... As soon as she got the fast food restaurants to make sure all of their trash was cleaned up in their parking lots, she no longer had that problem. She suggested that someone check the fast food parking lots because that is probably the root cause of this issue." Who would have guessed that McDonald's might have a hand in the apocalypse.
Tagged
apocalypse
birds
doomsday
end of days
falling goo
goo
mysteries
snyder
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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