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Martha, Martha, Martha Going to Slammer Early


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tien mao

Published Sep 15, 2004

Modified Mar 7, 2008


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By

tien mao

Published Sep 15, 2004

Modified Mar 7, 2008


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2004_01_marthas.jpg

It looks as though Martha Stewart is heading to the "big house" sooner than expected. On Martha's website, Martha Talks, she tells us that her lawyers have submitted a letter (full letter PDF file) "asking her to lift the stay of my sentence and begin the prison designation process. This will enable me to start serving my five-month jail sentence, rather than waiting for the conclusion of my appeal which won’t take place until sometime in 2005." Where she will be serving her sentence has yet to be determined, but her perseverance is the minimum security prison in Danbury, CT, which she says is "nearest to my home and close enough so my 90-year-old mother will be able to visit me."

Is it too much to ask that Martha serve in a more secure institution? Sure, she didn't kill anyone or push any drugs, but the thought of her coming out with some hot prison tats is just too funny. Maybe she could join a gang or something. Or get "Love" and "Hate" tattooed on her hands like Sideshow Bob. Hopefully the prison board has a sense of humor and thinks of all the possibilities. Let the jokes begin.

For her part, Martha says she can do the time because she is "a really good camper" and she "can sleep on the ground." And the classic Worth 1000 competitions for Martha's new home (1, 2, and 3).

Gothamist on Martha Stewart.

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