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Jock Itch Cop Says He'll Retire and Scratch in Peace


By

John Del Signore

Published Oct 23, 2008

Modified Oct 23, 2008


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By

John Del Signore

Published Oct 23, 2008

Modified Oct 23, 2008


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102308itch.jpgLt. Kieran Crowe, a 23-year-veteran of the NYPD who was suspended for 60 days without pay for rubbing his crotch, simulating masturbation and wagging his tongue at his male sergeants, announced his retirement today. Crowe had been found guilty of harassment and "creating a lewd, hostile work environment," despite his insistence that he only touched his groin area to relieve his jock itch. In a statement, Crowe struck a defiant tone, saying, "I vehemently deny these charges." But a lawyer for the victims, Sgts. Sean Gallagher and Dominic Coppola, tells the Daily News, "Crowe's word is as good as his jock itch defense." Not to be outdone, Crowe's lawyer retorts, "Does it make sense that this gentle, homosexual man would seek to coerce and seduce two large, burly heterosexuals?" Hmm, does it mean you're gay if that question makes your groin area itch?

Tagged

jock itch

jock itch defense

nypd

sexual harassment


John Del Signore

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Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.

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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations


Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations


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