Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
News
'I Am My Own Best Company': How Seniors Who Live Alone Are Coping With NY's Coronavirus PAUSE
By
James Ramsay
Published Apr 22, 2020
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
Hrag Vartanian/Flickr Creative Commons
By
James Ramsay
Published Apr 22, 2020
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Since Governor Andrew Cuomo issued his COVID-19 New York on PAUSE stay-at-home order late last month, sending many New Yorkers into a panic over the prospects of at-home isolation, Elizabeth Brown, 78, said she started sleeping more.
“Now, when I lay down on the couch, next thing you know, I’m taking a lil’ nap!” said Brown, who lives by herself in a one-bedroom apartment in Crown Heights. “I don’t know why! But I’m feeling okay … nothing is bothering me. My mental health is good. My physical health is good.”
Brown, who’s been legally blind for over 20 years, wasn’t in the habit of going out much before this. She gets most of her food delivered by Citymeals on Wheels, with an occasional plate of something from her next door neighbor. She listens to game shows on TV. And though she has been getting news about the coronavirus — some from TV, some from conversations with her daughter — she said it doesn’t worry her.
“It is what it is,” she said. “They told me to stay in the house — I know how to stay in the house.”
Hers is a common situation. Hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers live alone and rarely leave their apartments, according to the city’s Department of Aging. And the agency says there are about 240,000 New Yorkers over 60 who are “socially isolated,” which it defines as “the state of complete to near complete lack of contact between an individual and society.”
For those unaccustomed to any kind of sustained isolation, Brown understands the fear they may be dealing with.
“I’m quite sure there’s a lot of people feeling lonely for the first time, and feeling lonely, period,” she said. “You have to get your mind right—get your mind in a positive situation.”
The “loneliness epidemic”—which the Economist called “the leprosy of the 21st century” — was a serious issue prior to the coronavirus outbreak. A report from the National Academy of Sciences published earlier this year claims that about a quarter of Americans 65 or older are considered socially isolated. According to the report, that isolation presents a risk for premature death that’s “comparable to other risk factors such as high blood pressure, smoking, or obesity.”
There’s also a difference, though, between loneliness and being by yourself. And in interviews with half a dozen New York City seniors, a trend emerged: We can learn to be comfortable alone.
“I think a lot of people don’t spend a lot of time with themselves to start with,” said Ross Singletary, a 62-year-old who has lived alone in Prospect Heights since 1980. “This can be a daunting, lonely, fearful time, but when you have learned to take time with yourself and be by yourself, this is a breeze.”
Singletary, who worked as an HIV-AIDS educator before retiring, said he sees similarities between the two health crises in that there’s “a fear of the unknown.”
“So you do what you need to do, try to be as safe and protected as you can,” he said. “Don’t stress out about this. Stress kills.”
But even for seniors who are now isolated with a loved one, loneliness can still be a challenge.
Larry Petterson, a 67-year-old who lives in Fort Greene, said the coronavirus hasn’t changed his daily life much — he has mostly been staying home since last fall, caring for his husband who has dementia.
“It’s depressing,” he said. “I do hear from friends, they call me to check on me and see how I’m doing. But I just feel so isolated. For him even more, but he doesn’t realize it … I’m the one who’s missing personal contact with people.
“Although this morning, I had a Zoom meeting with the people in my knitting group that I belong to,” he added. “I haven’t been able to join them for lunch and then go knit with them for quite a while, so I took advantage of this time to get to see them all!”
As all kinds of gatherings get shut down because of social distancing guidelines, one of the hardest changes has been the shift in how we mourn. The effects of loss can be compounded for those who are by themselves.
Velma Brown-Phillips is 91 and lives by herself in Flatbush. Her older daughter died just prior to the coronavirus outbreak.
Velma Brown-Phillips, right, with her daughter, who died several months ago from complications with multiple sclerosis. Brown-Phillips said she's grateful that she could be with her daughter in person at the end.
Courtesy of Velma Brown-Phillips
“In between mourning the loss of my daughter, this comes up,” she said. “This is the time I’d want to meet my friends, and I’m deprived of that.
“In a way, I am grateful,” she added, “because I was with my daughter all through her illness. For the last three months, every day and every night. If it had happened during the virus, how much harder it would have been for me not to hold her hand, not be in the same room with her, consoling her through her pain. I was very sorry when she left us, but then I said to myself, I have to be gracious, because God was gracious with me, letting me go through that suffering.”
In conversations with seniors living alone through the coronavirus, the most frequently cited consolation was prayer. Second was art.
Brown-Phillips said she used to paint and crochet, but now that her fingers are less dextrous, she has taken to hands-free creativity.
“My best thing is, I write stories in my head,” she said. “And then I keep my characters very busy. I remember each of them and what they’re supposed to be doing, and it keeps my imagination very active. I am my own best company.”
Ross Singletary is a music guy: “Some days I want easy listening, like Barbara Streisand or Nancy Wilson. Other days jazz. Other days R&B and hip-hop.”
Judge Judy —which is ending, I was informed—got several shout outs. As did Tyler Perry’s films, and Grey’s Anatomy.
Joseph LaMartina, 83, a retired graphic artist who has lived in the same Brooklyn Heights apartment for 46 years, has his operas.
“My grandfather, when I was seven, would take me to the Academy of Music in Brooklyn to hear operas,” he said, adding that he now has hundreds of operas on video that he’s been watching to keep occupied.
“I’m a Romanticist at heart,” he said. “I love Verdi, I love Puccini.”
He said he understands the frustration of being forced to socially isolate, but he knows it’s for a reason, and he finds that inspiring.
“This feeling of isolation from each other hurts a bit,” he said. “You’re going to feel emotional about it. I have a cousin that lives across the street — we’re like 10 feet apart!
“But it’s gotta be like this,” he continued. “We have to stay positive, we’re gonna get through this. I can’t say, ‘I’m depressed,’ and, ‘Oh God, this is awful.’ I have granddaughters and my son, I want to be there for them, and I want them to be here for me! You can’t give up. I’m not giving up.”
James Ramsay
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE news
In East Brooklyn, aging NYCHA homes get a $636M upgrade
The improvements to at the Reid & Park Rock developments come has the agency wrestles with a multibillion-dollar backlog in needed repairs.
By
Willow Higgins
Published Oct 26, 2026 at 6:30 a.m. ET
What NYers can expect as open enrollment for health insurance begins
Some consumers will face higher prices partly brought on by federal spending cuts.
By
Caroline Lewis
News
What NYers can expect as open enrollment for health insurance begins
Some consumers will face higher prices partly brought on by federal spending cuts.
By
Caroline Lewis
Why New Yorkers should care about bats beyond spooky season
By
Catalina Gonella
Serbians forced to wait hours to vote at NYC consulate as Balkan nation holds election
By
Jill Webb
and
Michael Sol Warren
Retired NYPD detective charged in George Washington Bridge killing out on $1M bail
By
Michael Sol Warren
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .