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Help This Brooklyn Child Or Unartistic Adult Find Their Pet Hamster
By
Lauren Evans
Published May 1, 2015
Modified May 2, 2015
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By
Lauren Evans
Published May 1, 2015
Modified May 2, 2015
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An adorable child or artistically inept adult has posted a handful of homemade flyers around Carroll Gardens, beseeching fellow neighbors to help find his or her beloved pet, though we all know the poor animal has already been dismembered and sold for parts by the local rat cartel.
The flyers, which are so heartwarmingly naive it's hard to imagine the child/grown-ass adult is from New York and not, say, Waunakee, Wisconsin, have been posted along the footbridge over the BQE near Summit Street, a tipster tells Pardon Me For Asking.
The posting is filled with vital information on the missing pet, including that “her name is Roo” and that she is “very very cute,” which is good: The cops are more likely to take seriously a case involving a well-to-do “cute” hamster than some busted rodent with a snaggle tooth. It also contains the letters “rerordrd snak” which could be an anagram or an inventive interpretation of “reward: snack.” If that’s the case, “snak” had better be a cool new hip-hop term for cash, because the rats I know won’t give up their loot for a couple old hot dogs.
Anyway, I hope they find the little guy. The BQE is no place for a rodent, and Roo Goes West (Into the Gowanus) is a bit grim for a children's movie.
Tagged
carroll gardens
hamster
Lauren Evans
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