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Congressman Disappeared Into Bar Bathroom With A Lady But Totally Not For Sex, Source Says
By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 16, 2013
Modified Oct 16, 2013
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AP
By
John Del Signore
Published Oct 16, 2013
Modified Oct 16, 2013
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Are you sitting down? (Preferably on the toilet?) A Staten Island congressman may have had sex in the bathroom of a Bay Ridge wine bar, a source tells Brooklyn Magazine. Other sources (Viane Delgado?) tell the NY Post that the elected official, who is single, was in the bathroom with an unidentified woman for 17 heavenly minutes. ("Dude, I think he was in there having sex.") But still another source says NO WAY they did not haz sex or drugz, the congressman just entered the bathroom to "check on her." Because he is a gentleman, there was "absolutely no sex." Got it? No sex, just check.
For the utterly inane record, a spokesperson for Republican Representative Michael Grimm assures the Post, "This never happened, and I will not dignify this absurd distortion of the facts with a response, except to to say that this is nothing more than a typical Democrat-led smear campaign." Yup, setting up Republicans with embarrassing bathroom scandals is straight out of the Democrat's playbook.
Politicker assigned two reporters to cover the, uh, story, and one scored a photo of the bathroom in question; check it out below, it's located in The Owl’s Head wine bar. The owner says he doesn't know nothing about no politically-charged bathroom sex, but come on, just look at that bathroom. It's "gender-neutral," it's got a sexy mirror, and we're supposed to believe those metal handles are just for handicap customers? The Owl's Head should be renting out that restroom out by the hour, an oddly aroused source inside my head tells me.
This super romantic wine bar bathroom is a real panty-dropper. (Courtesy Politicker)
Tagged
brooklyn
lol
michael grimm
naughty
omg
red hook
sex
staten island
wtf
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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