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Bear Removed From Tree By NJ Turnpike, Fondled By Cops
By
John Del Signore
Published Apr 15, 2011
Modified Apr 15, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Apr 15, 2011
Modified Apr 15, 2011
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Mother Nature suffered another humiliating defeat at the hands of humans this morning when a black bear was forcibly removed from a tree in New Jersey. We didn't realize it was illegal for animals to follow their instincts, and apparently neither did this cute critter, who was tranquilized and removed from the tree near Exit 8 on the New Jersey Turnkpike. Then police officers gathered around to stroke the bear's fur and take trophy photos that will surely enrage the bear once it awakens to find them all over Facebook. (Watching the live streaming video earlier, one Gothamist staffer asked, "Is it wrong I kinda want the bear to suddenly wake up and bite one of their heads off?")
It's unclear what will happen to the bear, which was reportedly "stuck" in the tree before first responders "rescued" it. But now that we've made it through this story without a single "bearly legal" pun, we think we've earned the right to point out that the bear will likely miss the Bear Spring Fling at Rockbar Saturday night. A sad day, but noted bearaphobe and NJ resident Stephen Colbert will sleep soundly tonight knowing this animal's off the streets!
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John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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