Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
Misc
Was It A Date or Are We ?
By
Janine Annett
Published Aug 2, 2004
Modified Mar 6, 2008
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
By
Janine Annett
Published Aug 2, 2004
Modified Mar 6, 2008
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
I went on what I would call a "date" recently with a man I just met. He asked me out for coffee, and we went out together and had a nice time. Then, when I saw him again recently, he told me that he had a girlfriend but that he still wanted to "hang out" with me. He also told his girlfriend he had made a new friend who he invited out to lunch. What gives? Should I continue to hang out with this guy? Is he interested in me romantically or does he really want a platonic hip?
- CG
It's difficult to know what this guy's intentions are. Whether or not he wants a new friend or a "special friend" probably depends on the status of his relationship with his girlfriend. Are they in a serious, committed relationship or is he (to quote High Fidelity) "maybe, kind of looking around for someone else?" Either way, it sounds like he's probably not great dating material for you at this time.
If you believe that he really wants to be with you, and you'd like to be platonic with him as well, why not tell him that you'd love to hang out again with him AND his girfriend. You could say something like, "I'd love to have lunch next time with you and your girlfriend. After hearing about her, I'd really like to meet her and get to know her, too." If he accepts the invitation,you could be reasonably sure that he's sincere about a platonic hip. If he acts squeamish about it, then chances are he's probably looking for " with extra." In that case, Ask Gothamist advises you to delete his phone number, erase his e-mail address, and find someone to date who isn't heavily involved with somebody else already.
Tagged
Ask
ask gothamist
coffee
dating
gothamist
High Fidelity
love
Should I
Janine Annett
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE miscellaneous
We visited 8 laundromats to talk about voting and elections. Here's what people had to say.
As we inch closer to Election Day in November, WNYC is turning some laundromats in the New York metro area into hubs of civic dialogue.
By
Jodi Malarbe
and
George Bodarky
Published Jun 23, 2024
Aging with Pride: LGBTQ+ older adults share their personal journeys
As we mark Pride month, LGBTQ+ older adults share their struggles, triumphs and advice for today’s generations.
By
George Bodarky
Misc
Aging with Pride: LGBTQ+ older adults share their personal journeys
As we mark Pride month, LGBTQ+ older adults share their struggles, triumphs and advice for today’s generations.
By
George Bodarky
Hands in the dirt: Meet some of NYC's community gardeners
By
Enrico Denard
and
George Bodarky
'In the very, very beginning, it was about 3 feet of garbage': How NYC’s first community garden got started
By
George Bodarky
Serving up BBQ ribs and a deep sense of community in the South Bronx since 1954
By
George Bodarky
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .