Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
Misc
Gift Guilt?
By
Doug Gordon
Published May 21, 2004
Modified Mar 6, 2008
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
By
Doug Gordon
Published May 21, 2004
Modified Mar 6, 2008
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Did somebody say wedding season? Continuing the theme of marriage-related questions, this one comes in from TM in Manhattan.
My are having a wedding this summer and I was wondering how much I should spend on a gift. I last heard that you should spend the amount they are spending on you, but factor in involvement in the wedding, travel distance, etc. Then I heard this isn't right and you should spend what you're comfortable with. Ask Gothamist, please steer me into the clear on this confusing issue!
The average wedding in the U.S. costs over $22,000. In the New York Metro area, however, the average wedding tops $31,000! So, if you attend a wedding in Manhattan with 150 other people does that mean you have to spend over $200 on a gift for your college friend, cousin or coworker? (Actually, $198 if you subtract subway fare.) If the wedding is in the Bahamas, Rome or San Francisco and your costs to get there exceed the amount the bride's parents spent per guest, are you therefore owed money?
The fact is there is no formula for determining how much you should spend on a wedding present. It all depends on your personal relationship with the bride and groom and your current financial situation. The groom's coworker at a large investment bank might spend a little more than someone who is working on his Ph.D., but then again that struggling grad student might be a lot closer to the happy couple and decide he wants to splurge on a KitchenAid mixer or a set of Calphalon pots. Everyone makes his or her own personal decision about how to wish the couple well as they begin their life together.
If money is tight and you can't afford something from the couple's Tiffany registry, you still have some options. Depending on your relationship with the couple, talk to them or their parents and ask if there is something else they really need or want that you might be able to afford. Some couples are up to their ears in champagne flutes and bed linens and might just appreciate a good bottle of champagne to toast with when they arrive home from their honeymoon.
Tagged
Ask
ask gothamist
college
fare
gothamist
manhattan
metro
money
new york
New York Metro
people
san francisco
subway
Then I
travel
Doug Gordon
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE miscellaneous
We visited 8 laundromats to talk about voting and elections. Here's what people had to say.
As we inch closer to Election Day in November, WNYC is turning some laundromats in the New York metro area into hubs of civic dialogue.
By
Jodi Malarbe
and
George Bodarky
Published Jun 23, 2024
Aging with Pride: LGBTQ+ older adults share their personal journeys
As we mark Pride month, LGBTQ+ older adults share their struggles, triumphs and advice for today’s generations.
By
George Bodarky
Misc
Aging with Pride: LGBTQ+ older adults share their personal journeys
As we mark Pride month, LGBTQ+ older adults share their struggles, triumphs and advice for today’s generations.
By
George Bodarky
Hands in the dirt: Meet some of NYC's community gardeners
By
Enrico Denard
and
George Bodarky
'In the very, very beginning, it was about 3 feet of garbage': How NYC’s first community garden got started
By
George Bodarky
Serving up BBQ ribs and a deep sense of community in the South Bronx since 1954
By
George Bodarky
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .