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Park Slope Squirrel Folds Its Pizza Slice Like A Real New Yorker
By
John Del Signore
Published Jul 7, 2015
Modified Jul 7, 2015
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Courtesy Bryan of Park Slope
By
John Del Signore
Published Jul 7, 2015
Modified Jul 7, 2015
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This squirrel, spotted by a tipster in Park Slope on Sunday, is here to remind the universe that there is only one proper way to eat a slice of pizza: folded and with your bare claws. NO OTHER METHOD IS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.
For those who were too busy learning a valuable skill or falling in love to keep up with the shocking pizza eating scandal that rocked the de Blasio administration last year, let's get you up to speed. After the mayor was spotted in a Staten Island restaurant eating pizza with a fork and knife, the media backlash was swift and severe. De Blasio stood his ground, hiding behind his "time spent in Italy," but it was too late; the incident had already reignited tensions that flared back up in 2011 after Donald Trump was spotted eating pizza with silverware. Back then, it took an impassioned Jon Stewart to set everything straight:
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It's been a long time since we've had to silence those who advocate for perverse and unnatural pizza consumption, but New Yorkers must remain ever vigilant against another fork-fueled cultural unfolding. And so, years later, here comes a quiet yet heroic squirrel enjoying his or her pizza in a Park Slope park, a living embodiment of the universal Laws of pizza consumption. The slice is folded, the slice is enjoyed without utensils, the slice is, ideally, bigger than your head.
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John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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