Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
Food
Is This Really The Worst Steakhouse In NYC?
By
Nell Casey
Published Feb 13, 2015
Modified Feb 13, 2015
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
courtesy of the restaurant
By
Nell Casey
Published Feb 13, 2015
Modified Feb 13, 2015
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Jolly old NY Post columnist Steve Cuozzo is yelling at clouds again, this time unleashing a tirade on what he declares to be "the worst steakhouse in NYC," and it's a fun read even if it misses the point. The critic who previously "gagged" at Lady Gaga's foray into food visited UES churrascaria Texas de Brazil, unleashing a truly joy-inducing lede for a restaurant review: "Yo, Bill Bratton: Crime is back. I got mugged for $232.22." Zing!
Cuozzo takes the year-old Brazilian-style steakhouse to task on numerous levels, devoting several moments to the lack of a coat check—"bulky coats piled on empty seats"—the decor—"suburban-blah"—and observations about the staff, including a vignette of two suited managers mopping up a spill by "dragging wet paper towels across [the floor] with their feet."
This guy loves it! (via Yelp)
Of course, he's not pleased with any of the "reheated-tasting chicken" and other meats, which are served on large swords by goucho pants-clad waiters:
Of the dimly lit salad bar's "50 to 60 seasonal items," roughly 50 to 55 would embarrass a Bronx bodega buffet—rawhide-tough bacon and sun-dried tomatoes and lettuces on their last legs.
I don't know where they get their meat, but we can rule out "artisanal" ranches.
Roadhouse-grade flank steak and filet mignon gave way to bone-dry, 100-percent flavor-free pork tenderloin and concrete-dense, yucca-flour-coated "pork belly." The only available lubricants were oily, separated chimichurri sauce and near-liquid mint jelly.
Fatty, sinewy leg of lamb defeated a steak knife's efforts to slice it. Beef-pork sausage approached mediocrity once we sawed through triceratops-hide casing.
I've actually been to Texas de Brazil twice; once on the restaurant's dime when they first opened, then again with a two-for-one coupon I got by signing up for their email newsletter. Is it the best steakhouse in NYC? No, but it's not the worst—anyone remember Parea Prime? Plus, I think it's unfair to compare a place that's literally All-You-Can-Eat to an eatery carefully crafting each individual cut. That's like going to a strip mall Chinese Buffet and declaring it the Worst Sichuan Restaurant in Poughkeepsie. It's just not on the same level.
What TDB gets right—in this blogger's opinion—is that experience of being able to eat as much goddamn animal flesh one can stomach; it's about Treating Yo Self to a button busting dining experience. Sure, it's expensive, but you're paying for your Constitutionally-decreed right to secure the Blessings of Liberty (a.k.a. stuff your mouth hole 'til you feel sick). The signature picanha has been excellent each time I've eaten it and I don't care who you are—there's no denying that Brazilian cheesy bread is the bomb.
Tagged
lol
ny post
steve cuozzo
texas de brazil
worst steakhouse
Nell Casey
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE food
Where are the cheapest drinks in NYC? A new report details the city's average prices.
The median price of a cocktail in the city is now $16, and $9 for a draft beer.
By
Hannah Frishberg
Published Oct 19, 2026
North African restaurants are rare in NYC. These 10 are the best.
Egyptian, Moroccan, Algerian and Tunisian food is delicious but underrepresented in the city.
By
Robert Sietsema
Food
North African restaurants are rare in NYC. These 10 are the best.
Egyptian, Moroccan, Algerian and Tunisian food is delicious but underrepresented in the city.
By
Robert Sietsema
10 dishes that demonstrate the delicious diversity of curry in New York City
By
Robert Sietsema
Frozen yogurt is back in New York City. So are the super long lines.
By
Sonia Rao
5 NYC banana puddings as good as Magnolia's
By
Hannah Frishberg
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .