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Stephen Colbert Unveils "Candy Crush: The Movie," Considers Raising Baby Hitler
By
Ben Yakas
Published Nov 11, 2015
Modified Nov 11, 2015
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Nov 11, 2015
Modified Nov 11, 2015
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Have you seen the official trailer for Avatar 2Warcraft? It's the first film since the original Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring to take a magnifying glass to the marginalized orc society. It's also trying to be the first video game-to-film adaptation to be taken even remotely seriously since, I don't know, Super Mario Bros. (video game films do not have a very good track record). But we would be shocked if anything in this film is as dramatic and emotional as Stephen Colbert's video game adaptation, Candy Crush: The Movie. After all, he pulled in thespian and horse whisperer Liam Neeson to add gravitas to the part of Mr. Toffee.
Colbert also tackled the Baby Hitler question which has taken the Internet by storm recently. It turns out that the NY Times' poll question was actually an adaptation of a question from a Colbert sketch with Tom Hanks (see it here). Colbert re-answered the question last night in a much more humanistic way than Jeb "Hell, yeah, I would!" Bush.
"Most importantly, I would teach baby Hitler that we do not solve our problems with violence, and then, if he starts to get mouthy as a teenager, I’d stick a knife in his ribs and snap off the handle," Colbert said. "And, if that attack fails and the horror of being stabbed by a person he thinks is his father turns him into a monstrous dictator, it’s easily fixable: I’d just go back in time and kill baby me. You’re welcome."
Tagged
candy crush
liam neeson
stephen colbert
television
tv
video game movies
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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