Weekend Movie Forecast: District 13 Vs. Frozen

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For fans of District B13 and that jeans commercial from a couple years back comes the newest installment of Parkour porn District 13: Ultimatum. The film tells the story of a police officer and a reformed vigilante who must again team up to keep order in the racially charged ghetto District 13, but you really don't care about that do you? Or that Luc Besson produced? No, it is all about the crazy wall climbing, jumping, running, scaling and various other inhuman tricks that these guys make look so easy. This film is guaranteed to instill in you the delusion that maybe you could do Parkour, and even jazz up some audience members enough to put their delusions into action at Union Square!Mahohla Dargis from <a href="http://movies.nytimes.com/2010/02/05/movies/05district.html?ref=movies">The New York Times</a> says: "Parkour is an art of flight, and when correctly choreographed for the camera, as entrancing to watch as Olympics-level gymnastics or a Gene Kelly dance number. "District 13: Ultimatum, a frenetic follow-up to the equally daft District B13 (2004), isnât as complete an entertainment as that Bond or even that Bruce Willis vehicle, but itâs pleasurable nonsense and another reminder that one of the great pulls of cinema is the spectacle of other bodies in blissful motion. When Mr. Belle vaults over a wall, you see straining muscle, grace and the impossible made possible."

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Have you ever gone skiing and thought to yourself while on the chairlift: "What If I got stuck up here? What would I do?" Maybe you even went back to the lodge (or wherever skiers go after skiing), and jotted down on a napkin "skiers stuck on chairlift" as a possible idea for a play or screenplay you'll write someday. Well, we're sorry to say, someone beat you to it. But on the bright side, isn't it nice to know that someone would green light it? Frozen tells the story of three such snowboarders abandoned on a chairlift, who must make the life and death choices one would imagine you'd have to make in said circumstances.Michael Ordona from the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-et-capsules5-2010feb05,0,5697250.story">Los Angeles Times</a> says: "Frozen is the latest ultra-low-budget, 'Man vs. Wild'-style horror film in the wake of Open Water and last year's The Canyon. It's difficult to get into its 'What would I do?' vibe, though, through so thick and transparent a barrier of contrivances."Writer-director Adam Green has come a long way since his 2006 debut (Hatchet), but while simplicity is often a virtue, there isn't enough tension here, and there aren't enough twists to receive Frozen any way but coolly."

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Also opening this weekend is the not terribly happy looking Terribly Happy. This Danish import of darkness follows Robert, a Copenhagen cop who after a nervous breakdown is transferred to a small provincial town, who gets involved with a married femme fatale and must face, God help him, LOCALS!Response to the film has been very positive with Noel Murray from the <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/terribly-happy,37880/">A.V. Club</a> saying: "Terribly Happy looks and feels like standard noir, only in terse Danish instead of terse English. But cinematographer JÃ¸rgen Johansson gives the movie a striking look, replacing noirâs classic black-and-white with a contrast between reddish-brown (like dried blood) and chilly blue (like an old bruise). And Cedergren makes a compelling protagonist: a sad-sack with an impulsive nature and a hero complex that makes him a lot more like the movieâs villain than he can immediately recognize."This is a smart, melancholy crime picture, which takes its cues from the title of the perverse old standard Christensen plays on her stereo at night: 'You Always Hurt The One You Love.'"

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For those of you who rather spend three hours plus this weekend doing something other than watching football, might want to head down to the <a href="http://www.ifccenter.com/films/red-riding-special-roadshow-edition/">IFC Center</a> where they have set up an impressive screening of the 307 minute neo-noir epic Red Riding Trilogy. The three movies, based on four books by David Peace, which were based on actual events, which then were adapted for the screen by Tony Grisoni (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas), directed for British Television by three different directors, is now being presented to the New York cineastes in one block, with two intermissions, no trailers, no commercials, and no mercy! It does however include a free popcorn and SPECIAL COLLECTORS EDITION PROGRAM with admission! We know that that probably sold some of you, so go warm up that portable seat cushion.The films: 1974 (directed by Julian Jarrold, Brideshead Revisited) centers on a rookie journalist (Andrew Garfield) investigating a series of child abductions and murders with possible ties to corrupt police, business, and politicians. 1980 (directed by James Marsh, Man on Wire) finds the police and the public baffled that the âRipperâ remains at large and may have inspired a copycat killer. In 1983 (directed by Anand Tucker, Hilary and Jackie), Detective Maurice Jobson (David Morrissey) notices a number of powerful similarities between the abduction of another young girl and cases he had investigated back in the â70s â and for which a man was convicted and sentenced.According to a blurb on the <a href="http://www.ifccenter.com/films/red-riding-special-roadshow-edition/">IFC Center page</a> some bloke David Thomson says the films are "better than The Godfather" while Joshua Rothkopf from <a href="http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/film/82545/the-red-riding-trilogy-film-review">Time Out New York</a> says it is a "meat-and-potatoes genre work, certainly superior to a Hollywood product like Edge of Darkness, but not by much." Either way, you still get that sweet program.

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Following the embarrassment of The Spy Next Door Jackie Chan stars in the somber, family-unfriendly Hong Kong film The Shinjuku Incident. Chan plays Nick, a tractor repairman who follows his girlfriend Xiu Xiu, into the underworld of Tokyo, where comes face to face with Japanese yakuza. Can one Chinese migrant take on the yakuza alone? Well, Chan can (apologies).Brian Miller from <a href="http://www.villagevoice.com/2010-02-02/film/jackie-chan-s-shinjuku-incident/">The Voice</a> says: "Chan, unwilling to muss his screen image too much, casts himself as a principled protector who's betrayed by his greedy gang and feckless younger brother. It's a mostly reactive role, well suited to Chan's tired stoicismâor call it 'limited acting range,' if you prefer."Despite its Hong Kong pedigree (veteran Derek Yee directs), Shinjuku Incident forgoes flashy action scenes in favor of old-fashioned moralism. Warner Bros. could have made it in the 1930s, and that's a compliment."

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Want to see a Luc Besson produced action film this weekend but don't feel like reading the subtitles in District 13: Ultimatum? Well you're in luck, because he's got two movies coming out today and, get this, this one's got Travolta rocking a goatee! From Paris with Love, directed by Pierre Morel (who did the coked-to-the-gills-get-your-daughter-out-of-the-sex-trade Taken), is about a budding C.I.A. agent (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who is partnered with a loose canon (goatee'd Travolta) in order to stop a terrorist crime ring in France only to find himself the target of the same group he's investigating! GASP! Scott Tobias from <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/from-paris-with-love,37884/">The Onion's A.V. Club</a> says: "The latest from Luc Bessonâs prolific Eurotrash action factory, features a callback to Pulp Fiction, but a much different Travolta, vastly more confident and aggressive in his hammy bad-assery. Heâs about as cool as his suburban biker character in Wild Hogs. With his flamboyant ridiculousness, Travolta does, however, give From Paris With Love a pulse, which is more than can be said for the filmâs petulant hero, played by Jonathan Rhys Meyers."As junky and disposable as most Besson productions, From Paris With Love is insomniac viewing, coming soon to a 2 a.m. pay-cable slot near you."

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Nicholas Sparks, whose house was built with the tears of women, has had yet another one of his books turned into a movie: Dear John. Time to invest in Kleenex stocks cause this time he's cashing in on the war on terror. The movie tells the story of a soldier John, who home on leave falls for a cute college coed during her spring break. Love and heartbreak occurs as do letters with the titular "Dear John" greeting. So go grab your boyfriend off the line to see District 13: Ultimatum and prepare to get your cry on. Lou Lumenick from America's answer to Cahiers du Cinema, <a href="http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/movies/john_from_page_6DHYiZbMCspTQv7CgBpu5H">The New York Post</a> says: "Even more than eight years later, itâs not a great idea to use 9/11 as a device to juice up the old plot about the soldier dumped by letter, as they do in Dear John, the latest four-handkerchief romance inspired by the works of Nicholas Sparks.Dear John is the sort of movie that gives tearjerkers a bad name."

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The midnight movie at <a href="http://www.landmarktheatres.com/Films/films_frameset.asp?id=2554">Landmark Sunshine</a> this week is Quentin Tarantino's 1992 black-eyed crime caper Reservoir Dogs.

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Playing at <a href="http://www.filmforum.org/films/ran.html">Film Forum</a> this weekend is Akira Kurosawa's late-period masterpiece Ran, the adaptation of Shakespeare's King Lear.

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On Friday and Saturday, the midnight movie at the <a href="http://www.ifccenter.com/films/total-recall/">IFC Center</a> is Total Recall, which, as you might recall, stars Governor Schwarzenegger, and totally rocks.

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Weekend Movie Forecast: <em>District 13</em> Vs. <em>Frozen</em>