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Making Adult Friends: Jerry Seinfeld Joke In 1992, NY Times Trend Piece Today

Jen Chung

Published Jul 15, 2012

Modified Jul 15, 2012

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"No hugging, no learning"

Jen Chung

Published Jul 15, 2012

Modified Jul 15, 2012

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The NY Times has a weekend Styles feature about the difficulty of making friends in your 30s and 40s. Writer Alex Williams explains, "In your 30s and 40s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, children’s play dates and, of course, Facebook. But actual close friends — the kind you make in college, the kind you call in a crisis — those are in shorter supply."

There are many examples of how freaking hard it is to make friends when you're older—how you can't always transition your work friend into being your friend friend, how your kids' parents aren't always perfect friends, how it's really uncomfortable to have friends who are obsessed with money, so on and so forth. One person interviewed "has even developed a playful 100-point scale (100 being 'best friend forever'). In her mind, she starts to dock new friend candidates as they begin to display annoying or disloyal behavior. Nine times out of 10, she said, her new friends end up from 30 to 60, or little more than an acquaintance." Would you want to make friends with that person?

But shouldn't we just go back to that bit that Jerry Seinfeld had in the Seinfeld episode, The Boyfriend (Part 1):

When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're not
interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food. They don't know the activities, If I meet a guy in a club on the gym or someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of potential, but we're just not hiring right now.

Of course when you're a kid, you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little kid what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend, they're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up.? No. Great! Come on in. Jump up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at all, You like Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!

You'll recall that in The Boyfriend (Part 2), Keith Hernandez shockingly asked his new friend Jerry to help him move:

Well, if people in their 30s and 40s do make new friends, here's how you can break up with them, courtesy of the Times Styles section.

Tagged

friends

friendship

friendship as adults

jerry seinfeld

seinfeld

Jen Chung

Jen Chung is a former WNYC and Gothamist editor.

Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations

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