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It's Time For SantaCon To Stop
By
John Del Signore
Published Dec 12, 2011
Modified Dec 12, 2011
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By
John Del Signore
Published Dec 12, 2011
Modified Dec 12, 2011
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That's it, we've had it with SantaCon. Over the years, this annual drunken shitshow has steadily devolved from cleverly subversive to barely tolerable to "time to lock yourself in your apartment for the day." Is it just us or was this year's SantaCon even more obnoxiously fratastic than usual? Gothamist photographer Katie Sokoler was grabbed and kissed (against her will) by a drunk man dressed as a Christmas tree, and she also witnessed inebriated Santas falling onto terrified children on the subway train. Meanwhile, a group of intoxicated Santas on Houston Street deliberately knocked over a disabled man with a cane.
The victim, who would only give us his first name, Rafael, walks with a cane because of a drunk driving accident. In an email followup, he told us:
I was walking down Houston in the blistering cold with a cane when all of a sudden I see an idiot dressed as Santa literally pushing strangers left & right. His obviously obliterated friends were laughing alongside with him but not participating in the pushing. I think to myself "he better not even dare" before Santa (wreaking of alcohol & a heavy duty physique) literally grabs my jacket and pushes me to the ground. Due to the fact that I'm literally 100 pounds, I flew down under, with enough reflex to not bash my head on the ground.
Then there's the revolting incident witnessed by local college student Brandon LeBlanc, who saw Santa vomit on a couple who were not participating in SantaCon:
It had to have been about 1 p.m. and I just got off the 6 train at the Brooklyn Bridge City Hall station. Immediately I noticed something was off when I saw a small group of Santas carrying on and singing Christmas carols. Initially I thought it was cute and that it was part of some flash mob or something, but nothing could prepare me for what I saw next. I turned and was greeted by an obviously drunk Santa who was stumbling and audibly harassing a young couple who were sitting waiting for a train. In traditional hobo fashion he was drinking what appeared to be a MD 20/20 from a brown paper bag, curious, I stayed to watch. He began staggering closer and closer to the now obviously agitated young couple who was trying to ignore them. As he staggered closer his mumbling grew louder and angrier, until he fell head first towards the wooden bench.
He landed in between the couple and hit the bench hard directly on his stomach, and in one fluid motion vomited in what can only be described in an explosion. It was literally a miniature puke fountain. The girl handed the guy napkins and he wiped his shoes and leg.
And James Quinn, a bartender on the Lower East Side, says his SantaCon "highlight" came when a mom dressed as a "sexy Santa" ordered drinks with a one-year-old baby and had the baby dance around the bar in a Santa hat. "She thanked us for letting her in with her child since the strip club won't let her in with the baby," Quinn tells us, adding that "the most disconcerting thing about SantaCon is that thousands and thousands of people dress up as the same thing so not a single one of them is liable for what another Santa does."
Exactly. The NYPD press office would not tell us if there were any SantaCon-related arrests yesterday, but we'd love to see the cops assigned to the SantaCon detail demonstrate some of the zeal they've shown for cracking skulls at Occupy Wall Street. We don't care how many cans of food the Santas donated, it's time for this boorish parade of conformity to be banished to the same circle of hell that awaits The Santa Clause star Tim Allen. And take the No Pants Subway ride with them!
Additional reporting by Bethany O'Grady
Tagged
santa claus
santacon
santacon 2011
santas
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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