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How to be a better New Yorker, in 12 New Year's resolutions
By
Nick Leighton
Published Jan 1, 2025
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Nico De Pasquale Photography / Getty
By
Nick Leighton
Published Jan 1, 2025
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For thousands of years, people have used the start of a new year to reflect upon all the improvements they want to make in their lives for the year ahead.
And while exercising more, eating healthier, saving money or learning a new skill are all worthwhile, they’re all about you. How selfish!
What about adding a few resolutions that help the rest of us? As a New Yorker and co-host of the weekly etiquette podcast, “Were You Raised By Wolves?” I think a lot about what would make the city a more pleasant and polite place for all of us.
Here are 12 etiquette rules that I hope everyone will add to their list of resolutions for 2025.
Only make restaurant reservations you intend to keep.
Restaurant reservations are a finite resource in this town, so snagging multiple tables for the same night and then cancelling at the last minute or being a no-show altogether is très rude to other diners and the ghosted restaurants.
Let people off buses and subways first.
When etiquette and physics align, you know you’re on to something. Whenever boarding a subway or bus, just let people off first. It makes the whole thing go faster, makes more room for you once you board, and also just makes sense.
Return your library books promptly.
New York City is blessed to have amazing library systems, but their collections aren’t limitless. When you’re done with a book, chances are there’s someone else who wants it, too. It’s always considerate to return it as soon as you’re done, not just by the due date. This goes for digital copies, too.
Don’t let your laundry linger.
Have a washing machine inside your apartment? Lucky you! For the rest of us, if you're doing your own laundry in a shared machine, it’s important to keep an eye on the time so that you’re back to retrieve your laundry as soon as the cycle is finished.
Nobody wants to touch your laundry, but they’ll be forced to if you aren’t there within a reasonable amount of time. (What’s “reasonable” is a subject of much debate, but why even open that can of worms?)
Lower the volume.
Nobody would say that New York is a “quiet” city. But that doesn’t mean we need to go out of our way to make it even louder. So, always wear headphones on public transportation, stay off your speakerphone in public bathrooms, and definitely don’t vacuum your apartment at 3 a.m.
Turn off your phone at the theater.
Are you a doctor on call? Unless you’ve got a very good reason to keep your phone on vibrate, it’s polite to simply power down your phone and smart watch completely when attending any live performance. This way, it won’t accidentally go off (how embarrassing!) and you also won’t have a Pavlovian response any time a notification hits your pocket.
Knock before entering bathrooms.
Sure, you can aggressively grab a door handle and rattle it vigorously to see if a bathroom is occupied. Or you can politely knock, wait a moment and listen for a response, and then gently turn the handle. Let’s go with the second option.
Dispose of your trash properly.
Do you throw garbage on the ground in your apartment? No? Then please don’t do it on the street.
Get out of the way.
No matter where you are, there will always be someone behind you who is going faster and wants to get past you. From subway escalators to narrow West Village sidewalks, always be mindful of who and what’s happening behind you and gingerly step to the side whenever someone needs to get by.
On the flip side, don’t tailgate when walking behind others. Not everyone can go at your pace and it’s not nice to breathe down people’s necks.
Wait to open your umbrella.
When exiting the subway on a rainy day, wait to open your umbrella until you’re on the street and completely clear of the stairs. Nobody wants to get sprayed with water or poked in the eye.
Don’t block the art.
“The Starry Night,” “Washington Crossing the Delaware,” “Christina’s World” …there’s some incredible art in this town. Admire it, debate it, feel it … just be mindful that other people also want to do the same. Take a good look for as long as you want, but do give other people a turn and be sure to move to the side when reading the label.
Be nice to tourists.
Yes, they’re walking three-by-three on narrow sidewalks and yes, they’re not ready to order their bagel when they’re up next at a deli. But to know them is to love them.
Be thankful that New York City is so globally appealing that so many people want to come here for a brief taste of what we get to enjoy year-round. Whenever you’re frustrated with a tourist, just think to yourself, “Thank you for supporting our local economy!”
Tagged
new york city
etiquette
Nick Leighton
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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