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Repentant Ketchup Thief Confesses To Stealing From NJ Restaurant After Karmic Comeuppance
By
Ben Yakas
Published Aug 5, 2019
Modified Aug 5, 2019
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Aug 5, 2019
Modified Aug 5, 2019
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Have you ever stolen something relatively small, like a pack of gum or a lighter? Those are generally not the kinds of things that keep a person awake at night. But one person recently experienced a karmic imbalance that caused a tremendous ripple through their entire existence after taking a bottle of ketchup from a New Jersey diner—so much so that they wrote a very sincere apology statement about it.
The mystery person recently swiped a bottle of ketchup from Perkins Restaurant in Lacey Township. This seemingly insignificant action has apparently caused utter chaos and unexpected misery for the person, as if they had been unknowingly cast in a new Coen brothers film.
"A few weeks ago, I had taken one of your ketchup bottles off the table because for some odd reason I thought it’d be 'risky,'” the person wrote in the apology note. "I am as square as they come and this is the worst thing I've done. Well, a few hours [after] I did it someone crashed into my car, and since then, my karma, luck and life have been shit. I hope returning two new bottles will restore some [karma] for me, and I can stop carrying around this guilt. Again, I'm really sorry if I inconvenienced you the same way my life has been inconveniencing me."
The note was signed "from an awful person." According to ABC, the restaurant hadn't even noticed the bottle was missing.
The note, plus two new bottles of ketchup, were found by a manager in a bag just outside the restaurant. The restaurant plans on framing the note and putting it up on the wall.
"To the person that returned this. You are forgiven. Hope all goes better for you lesson learned," Maria DiLeo, the owner of the restaurant, wrote on Facebook alongside a photo of the note. She told PIX11, "We’ve all done things. If that’s the worst thing you've done, you’re gonna be fine."
Tagged
apology letters
ketchup
ketchup thief
new jersey
nj
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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