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How Do You Get Rid Of Millions Of Dead New Jersey Fish? Vacuums
By
David Colon
Published Aug 25, 2016
Modified Apr 5, 2018
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By
David Colon
Published Aug 25, 2016
Modified Apr 5, 2018
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Recently, the frustrated new owner of the defunct Revel Hotel in Atlantic City angrily told a local news site that New Jersey "stinks" after another setback in his plan to reopen the boondoggle/casino/resort. And now with "millions" of dead fish clogging up a New Jersey creek, Glenn Straub's figurative language has become horrifying reality!
CBS2 reports that suction trucks usually used to clean up sewers are being pressed into service to clean up what they pegged as "millions" of dead 3- to 4-inch peanut bunker fish, that all swam into Waackaack Creek in Keansburg, New Jersey and then died. NJ.com suggests the number of dead fish was actually in the hundreds of thousands, but also said that the smell extended at least a mile away from the creek itself.
You might be gagging at the thought or smell of mass fish death, but Keansburg's mayor George Hoff treated the die-off like a jaded punk who's seen better shows, telling NJ.com that this fish die off was "moderate" compared to one that happened 15 years ago.
Also here's a video of the dead fish being sucked up by the vacuum trucks. Call over your co-worker with the weakest stomach for a good prank!
While it could be easy to assume that the massive fish die-off is a sign of the return of the Old Gods and that we should prepare for a world of darkness and violence, "scientists" and "experts" have another explanation. They say that it's simply a matter of larger predators chasing the peanut bunker into the shallow, warm waters of the creek, where there isn't enough oxygen for them to survive. Which explanation is right? It's impossible to know, really.
Some New Jersey residents are finding a bright side to the mass extinction though. New Jersey Baykeeper Debbie Mans told CBS that all the dead fish have led to “whale sightings, dolphin sightings because they’re coming in to feed on these peanut bunker.” Ah, the smelly, greasy circle of life.
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prepare for the coming of cthulhu
David Colon
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