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New Super Serious Trump Campaign Manager: We'll Win Because Online Polls & 'Undercover Trump' Voters


By

David Colon

Published Aug 24, 2016

Modified Aug 24, 2016


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By

David Colon

Published Aug 24, 2016

Modified Aug 24, 2016


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When Donald Trump did his third campaign shakeup, most of the attention/rubbernecking was given over to the hire of alt-right hero/Breitbart corpse rider Steve Bannon, as compared to pollster Kellyanne Conway's promotion to campaign manager. If Bannon was a sign that Trump would somehow be even more confrontational, Conway was supposed to be a steady, experienced hand at the helm, a pollster who'd worked dark magic for Jack Kemp, Dan Quayle, Todd Akin and Ted Cruz among others, and would now do the same for Trump. Sad(!)ly, it appears Conway has succumbed to whatever brain injury it is that all top-level Trump campaign staff seem to receive when they sign on, as she recently told England's Channel 4 that she's not worried about Trump's polling numbers because online polls show him winning.

Conway blasted "cherry-picked polling numbers that are put out by media outlets that are also bent on [Trump's] destruction." She said she wasn't worried about Trump being down across the board because he "consistently performs better in online polling, where a human being isn't talking to another human being."

And she's right, you know. Trump won an unprecedented 70% of the vote from an extremely scientific online poll run by ABC, which delighted people who use the phrase "Hitlery." Trump also won a Twitter poll run by Wikileaks, whose press freedom and open access fans overwhelmingly voted for the champion of the free press and radical transparency fan.

In other, obviously skewed polling data, Clinton maintains a slight lead over Trump nationally, including a +5 advantage in a poll run by...Breitbart. In state polling, Clinton maintains an advantage in places like Florida, Colorado, Virginia and Pennsylvania. Conway has an answer to that though, telling Channel 4 that she believes there's a huge amount of "undercover Trump" voters just too embarrassed to tell a stranger calling from a polling firm that they're riding the Trump Train.

Elsewhere in the Trump fever dream, there's confusion as to whether or not he's about to make a big pivot on immigration. He did meet with a Hispanic Advisors Council in an attempt to pretend he cares what Latinos think, but he also has "Compelling Mexico To Pay For The Wall" on his website. And while he savaged his primary rivals for failing to close America's borders and won the admiration of the Keep America White crowd to the point that they burst out into song, Trump is suddenly not so hot on deporting 11 million people. Or maybe he is, no one is really sure whether he's truly cucked the alt-right or not.

Tagged

donald trump

election 2016

it's just science


David Colon

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