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President Obama's Half Brother Announces He's Voting For Donald Trump


By

David Colon

Published Jul 24, 2016

Modified Jul 24, 2016


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By

David Colon

Published Jul 24, 2016

Modified Jul 24, 2016


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Last week's Republican National Convention showed that there are some cracks in the GOP's unity thanks to Ted "Vote Your Conscience" Cruz's primetime non-endorsement of Donald Trump. Just when Democrats thought they could kick their feet up though, the New York Post has a bombshell story revealing discord in America's first family. That's right: Barack Obama's half-brother Malik told the tabloid he'll be voting for Donald Trump in November, because this election cycle is a tasting menu of absurdity and we've got many more courses to go.

Why is Malik, a registered Democrat in the state of Maryland, voting for a man who devoted years of his life to spreading a racist falsehood against his half-brother? Oh, the same reasons any conservative Facebook group-joining uncle is: Hillary's emails!

“She should have known better as the custodian of classified information,” Obama told the paper.

Okay, so that's not the only reason Malik is voting for the anthropomorphic bottle of luxury spray tan. Obama thinks it was wrong of both his President brother and then-Secretary of State Clinton to get involved in the Libyan civil war that led to Muammar Gaddafi's death, since he believes that Gaddafi was making the world a better place. Obama also feels betrayed by the Democratic Party's embrace of same sex marriage, telling the Post that "I feel like a Republican now because they don’t stand for same-sex marriage." So, if you were wondering, yes, Sasha and Malia have their own conservative uncle who ruins Thanksgiving.

The only question remaining after Malik's Trump endorsement is whether this is the most embarrassing presidential sibling behavior in modern American history. Malik's got some stiff competition though. There's Jimmy Carter's Billy Beer-endorsing, airplane tarmac pissing on brother Billy Carter for one. Or how about Roger Clinton, Bill Clinton's half-brother, who was given the Secret Service codename of "Headache" and appeared in both Bio-Dome and The Blues Brothers Animated Series and just recently was arrested for a DUI? Or of course, Bush failson Jeb, brother of George W., who was humiliated over and over by Donald Trump on national television before Trump fed his political career into a wood chipper.

Tagged

barack obama

election 2016

failsons

malik obama


David Colon

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