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NY Lawmaker May Make Law For Pokémon Go! What Other Laws Should We Make?
By
John Del Signore
Published Jul 13, 2016
Modified Jul 13, 2016
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By
John Del Signore
Published Jul 13, 2016
Modified Jul 13, 2016
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Pokemon GO is just insane right now. This is in Central Park. It's basically been HQ for Pokemon GO. pic.twitter.com/3v2VfEHzNA
— Jonathan Perez (@IGIhosT) July 11, 2016
A New York State assemblyman from Brooklyn is reportedly "pondering" doing something in the Albany legislature (lolz) about all these kids and their new-fangled Pokémon Gos. Assembly man's man Felix Ortiz clearly has his finger on the pulse in this interview with Politico:
Like any new technology, it has its advantages and disadvantages, and like any new technology, it has to be looked at very, very carefully. Everything comes down to people’s responsibility as well as corporate responsibility. Every single one of us who might want to play this game have to be very cautious. Who’s sending what, and what is the follow up?
Everyone should be cautious to make sure that no intruders will be able to tap into this and have people think they’re going to the park when in reality they’re going to a be targeted by some rapist. People could think they’re going to the bank, but in reality, someone is waiting to take their money.
Remember last month when everyone was walking around completely focused on their immediate surroundings and fully conscious in the present moment? Then along came Pokémon Go, and now everyone's staring at their dang phones all the time! When's ALBANY gonna get off their keisters and do something about it? God forbid some poor girl gets so focused on her Pokémon Gopro gadget that she falls into an open manhole.
"My big call is to the company, to watch what is happening," Ortiz warns. "They should be vigilant before they become liable. If it’s an issue they can pull out and fix, they won’t be liable. Otherwise, I will introduce legislation." And you know what happens when Ortiz introduces legislation... he gets to see his name in print.
What are some other things politicians should talk to reporters about maybe legislating someday you never know?
Intro. 381: Would prohibit grandstanding politicians from scoring free publicity off whatever zeitgeisty thought passes through their spokesperson's head.
Intro. 891: Would allow former mayor of 9/11 Town Rudy "Rudolph" Giuliani to continue booking TV news appearances, but only while wearing a ball gag.
Intro. 413: Would make it a misdemeanor for millennial employees to respond to inter-office communications with a single "k."
Intro. 301: Would require the mediocre sushi restaurant that delivers to your office to give you enough goddamn soy sauce for once. Why are they so stingy with soy sauce???
Intro. 302: Would publicly censure any bourgeois New Yorker who whines about the quantity of soy sauce accompanying his overpriced, unsustainable lunchtime sushi order.
Intro. 641: Able-bodied citizens who get on the down elevator at the second floor? Fuck them.
Intro. 221: Would permanently exile New Yorkers who blow their noses by holding a finger to one nostril and exhaling forcefully through the other.
Intro. 111: All movie theaters should have reserved seating options. It's a safety thing because have you seen the line at Williamsburg Cinema? It often stretches all the way up two flights of stairs, and it's only a matter of time until I fall to my death.
Intro. 792: French's Sweet Yellow Mustard? Burn it all in a giant bonfire on a barge in the East River. Fireworks to follow.
Do you have any dead-end legislation you're "pondering" this morning? Let us know in the comments!
Tagged
Albany
felix ortiz
lawmaking
laws
pokemon go
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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