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There Are Only So Many Nice Days Left In Our Lifetimes So Let's Spend Today Outside
By
Rebecca Fishbein
Published May 12, 2016
Modified May 12, 2016
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By
Rebecca Fishbein
Published May 12, 2016
Modified May 12, 2016
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Good morning, fair readers, are you feeling particularly sweaty today? Did you wake up to find a giant, warm orb had overtaken the sky outside your window? That orb is the sun, and that sweat is from warmth, which is a thing you feel when the sun comes near you. Over the last week or so New York's transformed into a Seattle of the East, and all that grey and rain has not done much to stop me from repeat-watching Now, Voyager with a fistful of Twizzlers. But today is beautiful, and for that we must be grateful. We must also skip work and spend today playing outside, because there's no telling how much more of this beautiful weather we'll have left before Battery Park City washes away.
Not to scream "CLIMATE CHANGE!!!!" at you all, but the Northeast is experiencing more frequent, heavier rainfalls thanks to all that air pollution and carbon and the Wrath of God, if you subscribe to the Sarah Palin school of Science. That old "April showers brings May flowers" adage is becoming less and less applicable as time wears on, and it's becoming more and more likely that in our lifetimes the seasons will just be One, featuring an endless sludge of torrential rain, flooding, polar vortexes, and subway platforms that double as microwave ovens.
Scientists aren't sure exactly when life on earth will end, but it is entirely possible that a child born today will live long enough to experience human extinction, which gives you a good comeback when your grandparents make reference to your ever-ticking biological clock. But whether or not you give birth to a twelve-fingered spawn that gets to watch the Earth burn, it's important to be grateful for what we do have, which is a world teetering on collapse but bathed in warmth by a sun that has not quite yet melted it.
It's nearly 70-degrees out there. Get the hell out of your office and lie in a park before the rain returns.
Tagged
call out sick
climate change
seriously go outside what's wrong with you
vacation day
weather
original
Rebecca Fishbein
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