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62 Things We Will Never Do In NYC Again

Jen Carlson

Published Jan 29, 2016

Modified Jan 29, 2016

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Jen Carlson

Published Jan 29, 2016

Modified Jan 29, 2016

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New York City's still got it and always will (until we're buried by the Atlantic Ocean in a couple of decades), but this town's insatiable dynamism has a way of obliterating many of the places we love and sentimentally we cherish, inexorably shuffling our favorite unique things into the gutter of oblivion, more and more each year. It was always thus. Your favorite dive bar is probably long gone, that movie theater you saw the original Star Wars at is now a Chase Bank, you're paying to get onto the subway in a completely different way, you probably can't afford your neighborhood anymore, or the next neighborhood over. We've compiled the below list of things that are now extinct or impossible to do in NYC in 2016, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. Enjoy? And see you at the Urban Outfitters mall on North 6th later, we're taking an Uber.

Things We Will Never Do In NYC Again

See a movie at the glorious Ziegfeld Theater movie palace
Use a token to get into the subway system
Suck tokens out of turnstiles with your mouth
Take the 9 train
Watch a deal go down in Needle Park
See the inside, or the outside, or anything nearly as beautiful as Pennsylvania Station
Get issued a 917 phone number
Walk by the CBGB awning on the Bowery
Dance at Studio 54 until 6 a.m. next to Andy Warhol and Liza Minnelli
Check your Hotmail at the Burger King on Broadway
Go to Tower Records for an in-store performance, or anything else
Sneak on to the High Line and roam it in solitude

...like you could in 2002. (LO5 ICF)

Step inside a curbside phone booth
Heckle the original Silver Man of Times Square
Take a car on the Staten Island Ferry
Marvel at the East Village Toy Tower
Watch Savion Glover tapdance exultantly after a night of mind-blowing jazz at St. Nick's in Harlem
Be given the middle finger by David Bowie :(
Drink in a tavern built on top of the frozen Hudson River (it happened!)
Press a button at the Horn & Hardart Automat to get a "frizzled beef"

(Courtesy of the Museum of the City of New York)

See Radiohead rock Roseland
See Law & Order filming (or be an extra)
Attend a taping of the Late Show with David Letterman
Watch the Mets lose at Shea Stadium
Play the piano from Big inside the iconic F.A.O. Schwarz
Browse through books at Brazenhead
Sneak into the magnificent old Revere sugar refinery in Red Hook
Buy some beautiful junk at Billy's on Houston Street

(Photo by Wally G)

Get a to-go margarita from El Sombrero
Drink beer out of a dirty pint glass at Motor City Bar
Chill on the vintage velvet couches of Lolita bar
Go to Pink Pony for brunch
See Apes & Androids at Sin-é, or anywhere
Play foosball and see a band at Luna Lounge on Ludlow
Go to Laser Floyd at the AMNH
Check out some mellow live bands at the Living Room
Go to the Urban Outfitters on 72nd and Broadway
Drink under bras at Hogs & Heifers
Drink anything at Mars Bar

(Photos via Bitchcakes, jimandkarlamurray, ixtayul, and EV Grieve)

Slurp a warm bowl of soup at Cafe Edison
See a show at Cameo Gallery, or Big Terrific at Cameo Gallery
Pound a PBR at Trash Bar
Hoover up filthy cocaine at Kokie's.
Smoke cigarettes and commit misdemeanors in the basement of Lit Lounge
Play drunken dodgeball at the McCarren Park Pool Parties
Go to any of the Pool Parties
Expand your mind with free jazz at Tonic
Lose at tic-tac-toe to a Chinatown chicken
Order Lover In The Stars at Hunan Balcony
Purchase a 1 day unlimited MetroCard

(Photo by Sam Horine/Gothamist)

Go to Lenox Lounge
Check out some newsreel footage in Grand Central's theater
Get stoned inside the tree sculpture at the original Rubulad
Sit in the jump-seat of a cab
Take refuge in Florent
Catch They Might Be Giants on the Joe Franklin Show.
Take over an abandoned tenement in the East Village
Wear a colorful Met Museum tag
Get neon sleazy in Times Square
Shoot the Freak
See Bruce Springsteen at the Palladium
Pick up art supplies at Pearl Paint on Canal

Photo via bitchcakes

Whatever, New York City recreates itself anew every day we are lucky enough to live here. Nostalgia = Death!

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Jen Carlson

Jen Carlson is a former WNYC and Gothamist editor.

Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations

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