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Rudy Giuliani Completes His Transformation Into Donald Trump MK II
By
Ben Yakas
Published Feb 21, 2015
Modified Feb 21, 2015
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Feb 21, 2015
Modified Feb 21, 2015
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President-For-Life of 9/11 Town Rudy Giuliani has long been teetering on the edge of outright incoherence, but this week he really dove face first into the swimming pool of garbage opinions with his batshit anti-Obama rhetoric. Giuliani has proceeded to double and triple down on his belief that Obama "doesn't love America" like you or I do WINK WINK.
"I said exactly what I wanted to say," he told the Times after they called him yet again to see whether maybe he has just been trying to pay elaborate homage to Andy Kaufman after seeing his audition tape pop up during the SNL 40th Anniversary show. "I conveyed exactly the message I wanted to convey." And like that, Rudy Giuliani's transformation into Donald Trump MK II is complete.
And like Trump, Giuliani has a lot of h8ers: on CNN, he said his office had been getting death threats (and also Obama may or may not be, but probably IS, a communist sleeper agent trying to destroy everything that is great about America by not doing enough jingoist flag-waving to tout American exceptionalism). "I don't regret making the statement," Giuliani told CNN White House correspondent Jim Acosta. "I believe it. I don't know if he loves America...I don't feel the same enthusiasm from him for America."
Would Giuliani back down at all from his vicious hatred of Obama? Nah. He told the Daily News:
“Look, this man was brought up basically in a white family, so whatever he learned or didn’t learn, I attribute this more to the influence of communism and socialism” than to his race, Giuliani told the Daily News.
“I don’t (see) this President as being particularly a product of African-American society or something like that. He isn’t,” the former mayor added. “Logically, think about his background. . . The ideas that are troubling me and are leading to this come from communists with whom he associated when he was 9 years old” through family connections.
BREAKING: Obama Is Being Controlled By 9-Year-Old Communist Living Inside Him!! Could it be a death robot?? Assemble a tribunal immediately!!!
In his interview with The News, which had a reporter at the Wednesday night dinner, Giuliani said he stood by his comments about the President because they were “from the heart” and not politically calculated.
If critics are playing them up, he said, “I’m glad they’re making a big deal out of it, (because it’s) an issue of life and death, which is a lack of leadership by our President.”
Even Giuliani's friends are perplexed by his apoplectic attempts at stringing syllables together into sentences. "This is as emotional as I’ve seen him. He was in some ways more emotional than he was after 9/11," the Court Jester of 9/11 Town, Peter King, told the Times. "The focus of the event should not have been that," added John Catsimatidis, who was the host of the “21 Club” get together where GIuliani made his remarks. "Look, Rudy is Rudy. He’s not going to run for anything himself. Maybe he wanted to get it off his chest."
Is Catsimatidis implying that Giuliani is being controlled by a 9-year-old chestburster living inside of him??!?? Can't take any chances.
Of course, not everyone has abandoned Rudy: Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal reportedly called Giuliani to congratulate him on making the Republican party look like even more of a joke. Or maybe he was congratulating him for learning to speak in complete sentences? We'll never know.
It would probably be good for all of us if we just treated Giuliani like Trump, ignoring his blustery hate speech and desperate cries for attention. Let him hawk Lifelock, commentate on Fox News and be who he really is inside: the ultimate used car salesman of 9/11.
We'll let Matt Taibbi get the last word on Rudy today:
I feel sorry for Rudy that he can't love this country the way it is. I love America even with assholes like him living in it. In fact, I'm immensely proud of our assholes; I think America has the best assholes in the world. I defy the Belgians or the Japanese to produce something like a Donald Trump. If that makes me an exceptionalist, I plead guilty.
In all seriousness, the Rudy story is a bummer. It's not easy to love America and hate half the people who live there. It requires that you spend a lot of time closing your eyes and wishing history had happened differently, which, at least in my limited experience, doesn't work very well.
And that's not something to gloat about, either. A lot of people in this country think like Rudy, and if our present doesn't work for them, the future won't work for any of us. We're all going to end up miserable together, and that sucks.
Tagged
donald trump
dumb people who say dumb things
obama
rudy giuliani
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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