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Giuliani Shows Obama How To Love America Right
By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 19, 2015
Modified Feb 19, 2015
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By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 19, 2015
Modified Feb 19, 2015
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NEW YORK — Rudy Giuliani went straight for the jugular Wednesday night during a private group dinner here featuring Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker by openly questioning whether President Barack Obama “loves America.”
The former New York mayor, speaking in front of the 2016 Republican presidential contender and about 60 right-leaning business executives and conservative media types, directly challenged Obama’s patriotism, discussing what he called weak foreign policy decisions and questionable public remarks when confronting terrorists.
“I do not believe, and I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I do not believe that the president loves America,” Giuliani said during the dinner at the 21 Club, a former Prohibition-era speakeasy in midtown Manhattan. “He doesn’t love you. And he doesn’t love me. He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.”
- FACT: The beautiful island nation we call America is a vivacious, sensual goddess who deserves to be satisfied by a real Love Prez who knows how to please her.
- FACT: The loving former mayor of 911-Town, Rudolph "You Could Say It Glows" Giuliani, understands this deep in the fiery furnace of his loins, and if only he were president you'd hear America's cries of ecstasy echoing from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue morning, day, night, and afternoon.
- FACT: President Giuliani's White House would be officially renamed Love Shack.
- FACT: The Secret Service code name for President Hussein Obama's White House is "Ice Cave Where Frozen Luke Skywalker Hangs Upside Down With No One 2 Love Him."
- FACT:21 is a great restaurant and every president since FDR has visited it except Obama, who has zero love in his heart for Prohibition-era restaurants or Lobster Thermidor.
- FACT: George W. Bush never visited 21 when he was president either, but that's because he was too busy loving America's brains out to swill Chardonnay at elitist Manhattan restaurants.
More like LoveLock amirite?
"What country has left so many young men and women dead abroad to save other countries without taking land?" Giuliani lovingly asked Politico. "This is not the colonial empire that somehow he has in his hand. I’ve never felt that from him."
- FACT: A Love Prez has to slowly caress each and every one of America's colonies, or they're gonna step out and find somebody else to squeeze them.
- FACT: Wait what the hell is Giuliani even talking about? Obama should have continued Bush's imperial adventures in the Middle East, since that worked out so well? Giuliani doesn't even know what he's talking about anymore; he's a walking Daily Caller MadLibs.
- FACT: Giuliani is an irrelevant troll whose only purpose at this point is to spout provocative nonsense that feeds HateClicks into the Internet's OutrageMachine. He's Donald Trump, but with better hair.
- FACT: A Giuliani/Trump 2016 ticket would be whoa if true amazing and generate enough HateClicks to fuel the American Internet Economy for decades.
- FACT: "I’m not sure how wrong the Crusades are." -- Rudolph Giuliani
- FACT: "It was impossible to look upon the vast numbers of the slain without horror; everywhere lay fragments of human bodies, and the very ground was covered with the blood of the slain. It was not alone the spectacle of headless bodies and mutilated limbs strewn in all directions that roused the horror of all who looked upon them. Still more dreadful was it to gaze upon the victors themselves, dripping with blood from head to foot, an ominous sight which brought terror to all who met them." -- William of Tyre
- FACT: I got fired from a job once because of Giuliani. He never really loved me like Obama loved me.
Tagged
america
feelings
love
obama
rudy giuliani
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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