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Should You Confront Subway Etiquette Offenders?
By
Jen Carlson
Published Feb 5, 2015
Modified Feb 5, 2015
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By
Jen Carlson
Published Feb 5, 2015
Modified Feb 5, 2015
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A common response we hear when we talk about subway etiquette is that instead of photographing a subway etiquette offender and sending that photo to some pandering website, people should instead confront the subway etiquette offender IRL and in the moment. This course of action has two outcomes: 1) instant retaliation: you get hit/kicked/spit on/yelled at/pwnd, or 2) you get straight up ignored.
Either way, no one is going to pin a Subway Hero ribbon on your lapel for your efforts. Shame is all we have, so shame on! You know, when applicable. Even the MTA is doing it in their own subtle way.
Here's one tipster's story about what happened when he confronted a subway pole hugger, one of the most commonly spotted offenders out in the wild.
"The caption on the picture where he's looking at me is when he was saying 'go fuck yourself.'" (Courtesy of Steve)
"I VERY politely (please, excuse me, non-threatening voice) asked this 'gentleman' not to lean on the pole. He flatly said no, told me to commit certain physically impossible sex acts, and told me to go find another pole. He KNEW he was in the wrong and didn't care. That's the real problem. Also, people who agreed with me waited until they exited to quietly tell me so. So, people TOLERATE this kind of knowing bad behavior.)"
This went down on the F, where Steve was headed from Park Slope to Manhattan, apparently with a bunch of softies who didn't want to get sucked into a confrontation. Steve likely considered the situation and decided it was safe to make a stand, which is important. Had Steve read this guy wrong, Steve would have emailed us a photo of his own black eye.
What have we learned from Steve's story? This is an all or nothing game—if you are going to confront someone like this, do it with confidence. Don't out-dick the person, but have a little backbone. You're going to need it because you've only got yourself going into this. Those passive passengers alongside you aren't going to risk getting stabbed in the neck just because you're defending the moral high ground. Be your own potato chip peacemaker, your own superhero... but remember: even Spider-Man spent his time off snapping photos, and that was a lot safer.
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Jen Carlson
Jen Carlson is a former WNYC and Gothamist editor.
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