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'Fauxsumerism' Alert: Mysterious Millennials Are Browsing But Not Buying :(
By
Helen Holmes
Published Apr 22, 2014
Modified Apr 22, 2014
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By
Helen Holmes
Published Apr 22, 2014
Modified Apr 22, 2014
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Youths! We're an unpredictable bunch, that's for certain; the architects of a new world disorder befuddling to anyone old enough to enjoy a Steely Dan concert. We've created social media apps so as to forgo parties in favor of pantsless alone time, funneled drugs from the Internet to our bedrooms using digital currency and Googled bizarre exaltations in our most desperate hours of unemployment. And today we millennials can add another distinguishing badge to our sashes: perpetual browsers.
According to The Intelligence Group, a research firm that's somehow the definitive inquisitor into Youth Patterns, kids these days are far more interested in perusing the myriad items available on the Web than actually buying something. That's right: 1,300 14-34 year olds were polled to definitively prove that transaction-free Internet window shopping is both delightful and an endless source of fun. The Intelligence Group deemed the phenomenon "Fauxsumerism," and cited the frustration felt by adults who're still trying valiantly to sell us stuff.
As some wise oldster once subtweeted, money doesn't buy #happiness. If marketers are still in the dark on this, all they need to do is check out the grin on the kid torrenting HD Game of Thrones episodes instead of shelling out for HBOGo. If there's a way of subverting corporate juggernauts, millennials and their imaginations are sure to find it.
Plus, notes the study, 40% of forward-thinking pre-adults are actually making wish lists and saving up responsibly for the items they feel they truly need. Some aren't even totally sold (pun intended) on the concept of ownership! That's not because we don't have money to actually, you know, own stuff, it's because capitalism is so over. Take it from someone witnessing firsthand the tragedy of student debt: it's not us, it's you. Organized society is crumbling. Thankfully, the miniature highs of Etsy wishing and Pinterest dreaming will buoy us until we inevitably find ourselves huddled around trash can fires, dressing paper dolls with adorkable pictures of our faces on them.
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Helen Holmes
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