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Ask A Native New Yorker: How Can I Stop Mister Softee From Driving Me Insane?
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Gothamist Staff
Published Apr 18, 2014
Modified Apr 18, 2014
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By
Gothamist Staff
Published Apr 18, 2014
Modified Apr 18, 2014
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Are you relatively new to this bustling metropolis? Don't be shy about it, everyone was new to New York once upon a time... except, of course, those battle-hardened residents who've lived here their whole lives and Know It All. One of these lifers works among us at Gothamist—publisher Jake Dobkin grew up in Park Slope and currently resides in Brooklyn Heights. He is now fielding questions—ask him anything by sending an email here, but be advised that Dobkin is "not sure you guys will be able to handle my realness." We can keep you anonymous if you prefer; just let us know what neighborhood you live in.
This week's question comes from a New Yorker who is haunted by a familiar jingle.
Dear Native New Yorker,
I know this is just the beginning but the last few days of blissful, spring weather have been amazing! The birds are chirping, the rats are reappearing, and the teenagers feverish catcalls can be heard from blocks away, but the one thing that's already on my nerves - the fucking ice cream trucks.
There are three ice cream trucks that travel in a circuit around my neighborhood and one of their pitstops is right at my corner. Morning, noon, and night, I am bombarded with the chimes of children's songs until I think my ears are going to bleed.
My question to you, is this legal? Is it considered "disturbing the peace" after a certain time of night? Are children really out buying ice cream at 10pm on Monday nights? Do your ears hang low? Don't get me wrong, I love ice cream but I love my sanity more.
Sincerely,
I Scream at Ice Cream
A Native New Yorker responds:
Dear I Scream,
We natives don't worry about noise so much, because we are mostly deaf from living here for our whole lives. After 30 or 40 years of riding the screeching subway, listening to garbage trucks back up in the middle of the night, and experiencing the pounding racket of the jackhammers at luxury condo sites, you find that your tinnitus and hearing loss have largely rendered you immune to such annoyances.
I've yet to meet a life-long New Yorker over 50 who isn't half-deaf. This is less of a problem than you think, because by that age New Yorkers have largely stopped listening to anything besides the sound of their own voice as they bark truculent "observations" at the people around them.
A young Jake Dobkin at a loud ice cream party in Prospect Park (Courtesy private Jake Dobkin Collection)
But for you more recent arrivals, noise is apparently the single greatest annoyance you face here. There are hundreds of thousands of complaints about it each year received at 311. The noise problem is greatest in certain "nightlife friendly" neighborhoods like LES and Williamsburg, as you can see from this helpful 311 map. Noise comes from many sources: construction, bars, vehicles, even "houses of worship", but the single greatest source seems to be "noise from neighbor", with 75420 complaints so far in 2014.
This has led New York to create an extremely detailed set of noise control laws, most recently updated in 2007. It dictates permissible noise levels, required mitigation measures, and fines for everything from air horns to "vertical take off and landing aircraft", and generally requires noise to be limited between 10pm and 7am every day.
Mister Softee—and other ice cream trucks—present a fascinating example of how our city noise laws work. Back in 2005, the owners of the trucks testified before the City Council, claiming that the lawmakers were "going to traumatize a lot of children in this city" if they went through with a proposed ban on the jingle. The Council caved to the ice cream lobby, and a deal was struck: the jingles are allowed to be played, but only when the vehicles are in motion (and presumably, not after 10pm at night—but why would anyone be driving a Mr. Softee truck that late anyway?)
If the truck on your corner is parked, and still playing its song, you have grounds to file a complaint at 311. The fines under the noise law vary from $50 up to $7000, but it seems like $350 is typical in ice-cream jingle related cases. If you file a complaint and give 311 your email, they'll followup to let you know what's been done about it. It may take a few tries before you get satisfaction—and there's always the risk that the truck will move to a new location down the block, or around the corner, where it'll just annoy your neighbors.
If you don't want to inflict this problem on them, you could consider soundproofing, but that'll be expensive and probably impractical for a rental. You could also try moving to a higher floor-sound intensity decreases inversely proportional to the squared distance from the source. That means a little extra space between you and Mister Softee equals a big reduction in noise. Of course, higher up you'll be more vulnerable to helicopter noise, so there's no easy way to win!
A better approach might be to meditate on the source of your resentment. By focusing your consciousness on the moment-by-moment feeling of annoyance and tension Mister Softee creates, you'll eventually cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards ice cream trucks and eventually, the rest of humanity. Or think about this: In what other city can you have fresh, affordable ice cream delivered steps from your door at 10 p.m. at night? Amazing, right?
N.B. Did you know there are official lyrics to the Mister Softee jingle? Here's the sheet music (PDF)!
Ask a Native New Yorker anything by emailing our tips hotline.
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ask a native new yorker
mister softee
noise complaints
Gothamist Staff
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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