Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
Arts & Entertainment
Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Competition Returns To Bushwick
By
Ben Yakas
Published Apr 11, 2014
Modified Apr 14, 2014
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
Marc Yearsley
By
Ben Yakas
Published Apr 11, 2014
Modified Apr 14, 2014
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
A year ago, micro penis owners across Brooklyn were the focus of Kings County Bar's first ever Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Pageant—the ultimate wet t-shirt contest for infinitesimal penises. The event was such a diminutive hit, they've decided to continue the tradition: the second annual Smallest Penis In Brooklyn Pageant will take place on Saturday, June 14th at the Bushwick bar.
Here's all the important info about the event for any prospective participants:
Our expert judges will take every little thing into account, including the contestants’ poise in both evening wear and bathing wear, talent, personality, and how well they represent the ideal of a man with a small dong. This day is about celebrating the fun-sized guys. Well-hung men shouldn't even think about crashing, they will be ejected from the pageant and humiliated! Anyone who is interested in becoming a contestant, or who would like to be a judge (little experience required), please send email to [email protected]. You must be over 21, and you must be able to attend in person (no photo or video entries.)
Admission for the day will cost $5, first come first serve; there's a limited number of VIP seats (find out more here), which come with micro-bottle service and "personal attention from a penis kitten." We're working on clarifying what that means. In addition to a crown, the title of Mr. Smallest Penis In Brooklyn 2014, and the undeniable envy of your peers, the winner of the contest will also receive a cash donation to the charity of his choice (which could be himself).
You can read our account of last year's festivities, which was inspired by bar manager Aimee Arciuolo's own personal experiences. You can also read an interview with last year's winner, Nick Gilronan, who discussed promoting positive body images, and what a fun time he had: "The staff at King County Bar were all terrific and nice, always respectful. The crowd was great as well. Everyone seemed to just relax and have a bit of fun for the afternoon, which is good."
Tagged
brooklyn
bushwick
contest
kings county bar
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE arts-entertainment
NYC music in October: The Strokes, a Blink-182 cover band, and Polish experimentalism
An excellent and diverse month of concerts are in store for October.
By
Hank Shteamer
Published Oct 2, 2026
Are you a New Yorker? The Department of New Yorker Verification will now decide.
There is now an (un)official verification process for those who can claim the title of city resident.
By
Hannah Frishberg
Arts & Entertainment
Are you a New Yorker? The Department of New Yorker Verification will now decide.
There is now an (un)official verification process for those who can claim the title of city resident.
By
Hannah Frishberg
In the mood for a pastoral autumn experience? Try Queens.
By
Elizabeth Shwe
and
James Ramsay
October is spooky season at the movies in New York City
By
Emma Stefansky
At the Museum at FIT, an argument for dolls as the ultimate fashion influencers
By
Quinn Moreland
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .