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<em>Game Of Thrones</em> Power Rankings: Two Swords

Ben Yakas

Published Apr 6, 2014

Modified Apr 7, 2014

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Ben Yakas

Published Apr 6, 2014

Modified Apr 7, 2014

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Last season on Game Of Thrones, Dany freed a lot of slaves, Jamie lost a hand, Tyrion got married, Jon was embedded with the Wildings, and there was a very Red Wedding. This week, Tyrion meets the Red Viper, Jamie gets a new sword, and Cersei drinks some wine. GOT is all about how people jockey for power, so click through for our season 4 Game of Thrones Power Rankings.

Game Of Thrones Power Rankings, Week 1:

1. Tywin Lannister: And thus begins another season of bossing around his family members and unleashing sick burns: "A one-handed man with no family needs all the help he can get."

2. Daenerys Targaryen: She's still Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons, etc etc, but Dany's most striking moment this episode was when she flinched at her ever-growing dragons. It's easy to tame Daario Naharis.

3. Joffrey Baratheon: The best sight gag (which doubles as a horror shot) of the episode is the statue of everyone's least favorite character standing over a dead direwolf in the Garden of Betrayal, only to cut to Joffrey actually just standing around in that same haughty, exaggerated pose.

4. Cersei Lannister: The return of Jamie has done nothing to soften her up ("You left me alone") or cut back her wine intake.

5. Margaery Tyrell: Of course she'd inspire a thousand songs. She's just...special.

6. Queen of Thorns/Olenna Tyrell: The fact she immediately recognizes that Brienne is "marvelous" is proof she's the wisest person in King's Landing (give or take a Varys).

7. Jamie Lannister: Everyone in his family—his father, his sister/lover, his son—are being dicks to him. He's a 40-year-old knight with a golden hand and a bad case of the regrets. The only time he seems like himself is when he's bantering with Brienne about her resemblance to the Lannisters.

It's just a matter of time before this happens:

8. Red Viper/Prince Oberyn Martell: Along with his companion Ellaria Sand, Oberyn is the most important (and best defined) new character we meet in this episode. He hates gold, he hates lion, he hates gold lions, he almost certainly hates Jamie's gold hand. But he likes boys and girls!

9. Arya Stark: She got her pony, her sword Needle, revenge for her dead friend, and a new kind of dead look in her eyes. And probably a chicken.

10. Daario Naharis: Michiel Huisman, who steps into the role of the sellsword, is certainly less creepy than previous actor Ed Skrein. But he's a little..bland, and he doesn't (yet) seem like a worthy match for Dany.

11. Tyrion Lannister: Even with Bronn and Podrick hanging with him, we're a long way away from the fun-loving Tyrion of Season 1. He's grown rather used to being the family insult, and he seems to have also grown rather used to being dour all the time (albeit, for good reason).

12. The Thenns: These new, more Orcish Wildings pushed Ygritte and Tormund around immediately upon arrival. More importantly: between GOT, Walking Dead and , are cannibals the new vampires?

13. Jon Snow: He's certainly more bold and self-assured. He's been changed by his experiences beyond The Wall with the Wildings (and Ygritte in particular). But he doesn't seem very welcome at The Wall.

14. The Hound: A man's gotta have a code, even if that code involves stealing people's beer, eating every chicken in the room, and stabbing people in the face with their own swords. Besides the fact the final scene is a fantastic action sequence, you realize that even for a guy as strong and well-respected as The Hound, everyone is one chicken argument away from an ugly death in some tavern.

15. Sansa Stark/Lannister: The saddest person in all of Westeros: "I don't pray anymore...it's the only place I can go where people don't talk to me."

The Viserys Targeryen Memorial Least Powerful Person Of The Week Award: "You're better than me at everything...except reading." We missed you so, Samwell Tarly.

The Hodor Is Hodor Honorary Minor Character Of The Week Award: Ser Bronn killed the right people to get where he is, but the marvelous Brienne of Tarth, whose new look is like a cross between Tommen Lannister and David Bowie circa 1976 (aka, the slick-backed, coked-up LA year), takes this one.

The Talking To The Chief Monologue Of The Week: Tyrion had some nice words to say about the slain Starks, but we have to give this one to Oberyn. His long speech about his family's grudge against the Lannisters was, essentially, an exposition dump—but it was a deeply felt one that kept us riveted and immediately hooked us into Oberyn.

Let's just take a moment to acknowledge how much fun it is seeing people who have either never met before (Brienne & the Queen Of Thorns, Tyrion & Oberyn) or have been separated for a long time (Cersei & Jamie, Jon Snow & the Night's Watch council) bump into each other—especially when they actually attempt to process all the major events of the show without getting didactic.

Rickon Watch 2014: Is Rickon Still On This Show? Last year we wondered whether Rickon would do anything in a given episode; this year, we really aren't sure whether we'll even see him. Many will be tempted to forget the heroic exploits of brave Rickon, who once had a whole line of dialogue in an episode (he said he had "heard tales about the Wildlings drinking blood"). We shall never forget his deeds.

And now our watch has begun.

The Remember Roz Sexposition Quotient: There was plenty of female nudity at Littlefinger's brothel thanks to the bisexual bohemians from Dorne. Their hatred for Lannisters is matched only by their polyamorous horniness. We expect things to only escalate from here.

Way Beyond The Wall: There was no sign of the Dragonstone crew (Stannis, Ser Davos, Melissandre), no Boltons/Freys (Roose Bolton, Walder Frey, Reek/Theon), no Bran crew (Meera and Jojen Reed, Hodor), no other Greyjoys, no Littlefinger, no Varys, no Brotherhood Without Banners, and we're starting to believe we hallucinated Mance Rayder last year.

Next week, we spent a whole lot of time at King's Landing for the long-awaited marriage of Joffery and Margaery. Until then, take it extra smooth this week.

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game of thrones power rankings

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Ben Yakas

Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.

Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations

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