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Photos: NYC Is A Slippery, Slushy, Personal Injury Lawyer Paradise
By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 14, 2014
Modified Feb 14, 2014
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By
John Del Signore
Published Feb 14, 2014
Modified Feb 14, 2014
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Conditions out on the streets are extremely treacherous this morning, perhaps the worst they've been since the release of Winter 2014: The Director's Cut Special Extended Edition. This whole city's nothing but invisible ice interrupted at regular intervals by fathomless, foreboding slush lakes, glittering with browncaps as far as the eye can see.
So many bodies were collapsing all around me as I hobbled to work today it seemed like the Rapture—I was left behind for my sins, but it's truly a miracle I didn't tumble into a slush-hole and drown. As Job once put it, "I only am escaped alone to tell thee"... to take it real slow out there. We're going to beat this thing, but only if we stick together, like the stoic New Yorkers in that first photo here, considerately lining up to take turns skirting the edge of what appears to be a bottomless lagoon swarming with those face-sucking alien eels from Prometheus.
Their patience and civility gives us hope. This winter isn't going to break us. We're going to come out the other side of this mess tougher, more resilient, and ready to complain in earnest about the next miserable heat wave.
Oh, by the way, 2-4 inches of snow are expected late tonight through tomorrow afternoon.
If you've got a priceless slush lagoon photo you'd like to share, do send it our way.
Tagged
ICE
lawsuits
slush
winter 2014
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John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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