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Roberta's $700 Leather Mesh Tank Top Makes Bushwick Complete

By

Lauren Evans

Published Dec 20, 2013

Modified Dec 20, 2013

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Fuck. Off.

 

By

Lauren Evans

Published Dec 20, 2013

Modified Dec 20, 2013

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The occasions in which it's acceptable to wear a leather mesh tank top are few. It's not that it should never be done—your nipples are people, too, and they deserve to see the world through the crisp filter of a mesh lens from time to time.

The issue, then, with the $700 Roberta's leather mesh tank top isn't that it's a leather mesh tank top—it's literally everything else. $700 is the price I would pay to watch George W. Bush engage in a twerk-off against all six members of Rammstein. But Leather Mesh Tank Top Sharia Law dictates that one must never pay more than 89 cents for a leather mesh tank top, no matter how masterfully painted the pizza slice pentagram that adorns it.

But the most truly wretched thing about the $700 LMTT isn't merely its existence—it's that it's sold out. This means one of two things: Either real people, with real feelings and desires and skin, are walking around out there dressed in the most obnoxious clothing item since the pantaloon, or we've all fallen victim to some terrible mind game. Did the LMTT ever exist at all, or, like Milk Girl, is it just baiting us?

Roberta's is a high-end pizza joint located in Bushwick, Brooklyn. It's known for its homemade mozzarella and not paying its interns.

[Via Eater]

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