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Hot-And-Bothered NY Post Columnist Slut-Shames Danish Prime Minister
By
Ben Yakas
Published Dec 12, 2013
Modified Dec 12, 2013
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Dec 12, 2013
Modified Dec 12, 2013
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The world conservative media was outragedfeigned outrage after President Obama was caught taking a selfie having his photo taken at Nelson Mandela's somber funeral exuberant memorial service. Oh sure, it was a four hour long arena memorial filled with colorful dancing and singing, and the photographer who took photos of the infamous selfie said people were blowing it way out of proportion, but no matter. The manufactured condemnation merry-go-round is in full swing, and it's all worth it, because the centrifugal force has given the world another colorful projectile vomit from the NY Post's resident catlady Andrea Peyser. She thinks Obama needs to apologize to the American people for so clearly flirting with that Danish tramp.
Peyser deconstructs the photos of Obama from the memorial like one of those drones from AMC's dearly departed Rubicon, and uses Sherlock-like leaps in judgement to psychoanalyze Obama's relationship with his wife and Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt. Let us count all the ways Peyser slut-shames and unnecessarily harasses Thorning-Schmidt for her part in causing Obama to lose "his morality, his dignity and his mind:"
- "Danish Pastry"
- "Denmark’s voluptuously curvy and married prime minister"
- "Not to be outdone by the president’s bad behavior, the Danish hellcat hiked up her skirt to expose long Scandinavian legs covered by nothing more substantial than sheer black stockings."
- "cross-legged Danish cupcake, who is known in Copenhagen as a fan of America’s randy TV show “Sex and the City.’’"
- "Thorning-Schmidt placed her hands dangerously close to Obama’s side. The president’s cackling head moved inches from the Danish tart’s and yards away from his wife’s."
- "a blonde bimbo who hadn’t the sense to cover up and keep it clean."
- "the Danish hottie"
- "the gentle gams of the Danish object of his desire."
- "Thorning-Schmidt saw nothing wrong with the public display of middle-aged lust."
- It was the memorial equivalent of a bodice-ripper.
Did you know that the NY Post is a newspaper that gets printed every day and distributed throughout America's capital of media and culture?
To be sure, the Post isn't the only upstanding rag in the world that is getting in on the action with Thorning-Schmidt, but they are by far the stupidest. And Peyser—who has never met a woman she couldn't slut-shame in public by channeling every ugly, self-loathing fiber in her libelous body—is their prize horse.
Ah shit, who are we kidding. All we want in this world is an hour alone with the cream of Queens, an auburn-haired hottie with gams like sexy tree trunks. This cross-legged, bi-curious, somewhat-racist cupcake is the object of our pre-middle aged lust, and we see nothing wrong with fantasizing about this hellcat hiking up her skirt and exposing nothing but the sheer blackness of her soul.
Tagged
andrea peyser
Helle Thorning-Schmidt
ny post
obama
slutshaming
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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