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Should We Fire All The Bathroom Attendants Or Just Kill Everyone In Balthazar?
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Nov 4, 2013
Modified Nov 5, 2013
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Flickr user Unlisted Sightings
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Nov 4, 2013
Modified Nov 5, 2013
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Bathroom attendants. The best way to ruin my $45 steak and grease-rimmed glass of Chateauneuf-du-Pape is having some guy watch me pee and offer me a paper towel. First of all, I don't wash my hands—Hemingway never washed his hands—and second, who are you? A guy in a cummerbund? What have you created today? What have you made with your mind, your mettle, besides awkward silence? Business Insider's Henry Blodget is right: Balthazar's bathroom attendants should be eliminated. But we'd go a step further: Eliminate Balthazar.
For the uninitiated/indifferent, there's this restaurant in SoHo called Balthazar—it looks just like "a rustic bistro" in Paris but actually it's on Spring Street and it seats 200 people and serves well over a thousand $40 entreés each day. Anyway, Henry Blodget—he's the CEO and founder of Business Insider—so he was eating breakfast at Balthazar with Nick Denton—he's the CEO and founder of Gawker Media—and Henry went to the bathroom and realized that he hated the fact that the bathroom attendant was just staring at him pee and then expected a tip for making him feel weird. Henry goes back to work and writes a blog post about how restauranteurs should "eliminate" bathroom attendants and Keith McNally—he's the owner of Balthazar and a bunch of other important restaurants that are all popular and all the same—he reads Henry's post and decides to fire the bathroom attendants!
We know that Keith McNally is firing the bathroom attendants because Foster Kamer—he writes for Complex and First We Feast and really digs steak frites—he emailed McNally and McNally said he "agreed" with Henry Blodget!
“Unfortunately, I completely agree with it and will, in the next few weeks, relieve the restaurant’s bathroom attendants of their duties. They’re extremely loyal employees who, perhaps surprisingly, love their jobs. But Henry Blodget - despite his dubious business ethics* - has a good point and I happen to agree with it. Although I’m looking forward to standing at Balthazar’s urinal without another man staring at me I’ll very much miss my bathroom attendants. They’ve been absolutely wonderful people to work with.“
So Henry wrote an update to his original blog post, calling the removal of the attendants, "Good news!"
But Henry also doesn't want to be responsible for these guys getting fired either (he is, though), so he writes another blog post (he is a millionaire for creating these blog posts and being responsible for publishing many more blog posts) saying that "Balthazar should absolutely not fire its bathroom attendants" and that instead, they should be "reassigned," which is a thing that may happen at websites and other places but doesn't really happen too often in restaurants.
Are bathroom attendants an anachronistic redundancy, like tipping? Are we obligated to assist those who are employed in low-wage positions that have likely outlived their usefulness? Do they even want our pity? Will anyone dress up as Balthazar bathroom attendants next Halloween? Would you click on a slideshow of The 18 Most Outrageous Bathroom Attendant Costumes?
45 Jobs That Are Worse Than "Bathroom Attendant"?
46 Costumes That Are Worse Than "Slutty Bathroom Attendant"?
24 Greasy Mouths That Are Chewing And Chewing And Chewing?
12 Smart Takes On 3 Shots Fired At 2 Bathroom Attendants: An NYC Media Power List?
Tagged
balthazar
bathroom attendants
everyone just shut the fuck up
expensive red meat
media
places to be seen
rustic Soho bistros
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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