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Video: Jerry Seinfeld Is The Devil Who Hogs All The Cronuts
By
John Del Signore
Published Jul 22, 2013
Modified Jul 22, 2013
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An out-of-control Jerry Seinfeld binges on cronuts.
By
John Del Signore
Published Jul 22, 2013
Modified Jul 22, 2013
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Your average cronut-craving slob has to wait on line (YES, "ON" LINE) for hours and hours just to get a tiny taste of God's Gift To Pastries & Page Views. But when you're big shot funnyman Jerry Seinfeld, boxes of cronuts are wafted up to your private terrace on personal assistants' gossamer wings. Yes, the days of stealing an old lady's marble rye for kicks are long gone; it's 2013 and Modern Seinfeld no doubt has proteges to do his dirty work. Here's video of Jerry lording it over everyone:
Everything's a joke to that joy-boy and his good time buddies—flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention, stuffing his face. Considering the strict two-cronut per person limit, you have to wonder if people who are rich and famous are getting preferential treatment! What is the DEAL with privilege?
However, a rep at Dominique Ansel explains there is a loophole to the two-cronut limit. Asked how Seinfeld got his hands on so many coveted cronuts, the rep told us, "I have no idea. He must have very nice assistants who waited in [sic] line or got on the pre-order list (which lets you order up to 6)." Whatever, Jerry Seinfeld is still the devil.
Tagged
cronuts
gold
jerry seinfeld
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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