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<em>Game Of Thrones</em> Power Rankings: Kissed By Fire
By
Ben Yakas
Published Apr 29, 2013
Modified Apr 29, 2013
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Apr 29, 2013
Modified Apr 29, 2013
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Last week on Game Of Thrones, we had a Night's Watch mutiny, the psychological torture of Theon, and the brutal ascendance of Daenerys Targaryen. This week, we got a resurrection, a beheading, and some hanky panky beyond The Wall. Since the show is all about how people jockey for power, we've decided to follow along this season with our Game of Thrones Power Rankings—aka, who is owning this week.
Game Of Thrones Power Rankings, Week 5:
1. Tywin Lannister: He doesn't appear until the very end of the episode, but he lays down the law with both his children (and references all those "nasty rumors").
2. Olenna Redwyne: Even when she's just giving Tyrion advice about figs and bowel movements, she's a joy to be around.
3. Robb Stark: Things got pretty intense for Robb this week, as he invoked the memory of his father by beheading Lord Karstark. His desire to be as honorable as his father has opened up a hell of a can of worms though.
4. Daenerys Targaryen: It was a relatively quiet week for Daenerys, coming off of last week's Unsullied coup. But she did meet a guy named Grey Worm.
5. Beric Dondarrion: After he lost that epic opening fight with The Hound, he was resurrected thanks to the Lord of Light. For the sixth time. Obviously he's doing something right.
6. Stannis Barratheon: Well, this is probably the most sympathetic Stannis has ever been, even if he's still being a dick to Ser Davos. Turns out that his wife is even more of a fanatic than him. And um, there's that whole dead fetus' in a jar thing...
7. Jon Snow: Well, he finally figured out how to get Ygritte to stop telling him he knows nothing.
8. The Hound: He beat Dondarrion and earned his freedom, which seems like a pretty good week for a survivor like him. Although, Dondarrion gets the nod in the rankings because, ya know, he came back from the dead.
9. Littlefinger: Tasked by Cersei with finding out what's going on with the Tyrells, he figures it all out without breaking a sweat. And he hooked Loras up in the process.
10. Ser Jorah Mormont: Getting a bit paranoid about Daenerys new adviser, as well as his own past sins (like, say, spying on Daenerys for King Robert).
11. Tyrion Lannister: So much for being good at his new job—Tyrion will be betrothed to poor Sansa Stark. Sometimes tells us Sansa (and Shae) won't be too happy about this turn of events.
12. Cersei Lannister: So much for her smug glee at her brother's sudden engagement—she's now the future Mrs. Loras Tyrell. At least she probably won't have to bed him.
13. Arya Stark: Between The Hound not dying and Gendry choosing to stay with the Brotherhood Without Banners, Arya was pretty miserable this week. At least she has her vengeance list to keep her warm at night.
14. Brienne Of Tarth: Learns the tragic truth behind Jaime's "Kingslayer" nickname, asserts her womanhood, AND gets to have a bath.
15. Jaime Lannister: "I don't intend to be the first Lannister to die in a bathtub."
The Viserys Targeryen Memorial Least Powerful Person Of The Week Award: Caetlyn Stark—Her decision to let Jaime Lannister go led to the murder of the two Lannister squires here; meanwhile, she doesn't have any of her kids back, Jaime and Brienne are MIA as far as she knows, and now her son has lost half his army because of her.
Not Applicable: This was a very light episode for certain characters (Margaery Tyrell, Sansa Stark), and there was no sign of Bran Stark, Joffrey Baratheon, Theon Greyjoy, Samwell Tarly, Mance Rayder, Varys, Ser Bronn, Hodor, and Melisandre. We're sure many of them will be back next week though. And probably Rickon too, but we probably won't even notice.
Until then, here's Game Of Thrones opening done Friends-style.
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Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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