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311 Dispatcher Describes Most Ridiculous Calls
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Apr 14, 2013
Modified Apr 14, 2013
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Marc Yearsley / Gothamist
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Apr 14, 2013
Modified Apr 14, 2013
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Last month Mayor Bloomberg stopped by the 311 call center to celebrate the hotline's 10-year anniversary and noted some of the more priceless reasons why people call the city: does Medicare cover cat surgery? Who won American Idol? Today, a person saying they take 311 calls for the city did a Reddit AMA and recounted their own favorites.
After noting that the most common call is regarding noise complaints ("It can take up to 8 hours for the cops to get out there") Redditor pajama_party describes the most ridiculous 311 calls they've taken:
people complaining that the jews have more holidays for alternate side parking (went to the NYPD, which oversees traffic agencies)
people complaining that the soda ban is a conspiracy between Bloomberg & the big beverage companies (went in as a comment to the mayor)
people complaining that the government installed a chip in their head (mandatory transfer, 911 later refused the call)
people requesting the same fucking tree for four years and not getting it (department of parks & recreation)
"They teach you to fake-sympathize in training, so I do a lot of that," the user adds. But there's still a good deal of job satisfaction in soaking up the city's problems:
when people call and i can really help them. i'll have people call in, and you can just tell they're lonely and you let them unload on you and when you give them what they called in for, say the number to a precinct, abortion provider, or the DMV - they really do feel better.
Also: attractive people answer the phones, and apparently we can hear it in their voices.
one of my co-workers met her hubby there. and there's a ton of competitive, hot women who work here. the dudes are just alright, unfortunately and tons of people will blatantly hit on you over the phone. that happened to me yesterday while i was helping a guy pay his parking tickets
For more municipal candor, check out these AMAs given by supposed NYPD officers.
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Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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