Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
News
Grumpy NY Times Columnist Hates "Thank You" Notes, Voice Mail, Talking To His Mom
By
Ben Yakas
Published Mar 10, 2013
Modified Mar 10, 2013
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
By
Ben Yakas
Published Mar 10, 2013
Modified Mar 10, 2013
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
It'd be fair to say that many of us at Gothamist HQ sway a bit toward the curmudgeonly side more often than not—although at the same time, we know that life really would be better if only we could get all those drunk santas and pants-averse folks off our damn lawn. Having said that, NY Times columnist Nick Bilton one-ups our grumpiness with a diatribe against all non-Twitter communication today. Oh, and he hates 'thank you' notes: "Some people, especially older ones, appreciate a thank-you message. Others, like me, want no reply."
Bilton brings up some good points about changing norms in modern communication: sending an email informing someone you left them a voicemail is kind of annoying, and texting someone for their SXSW lineup seems ridiculous. But asking a friend where they can PAY MONEY to buy your book isn't that bad, and there's nothing uncivilized about asking for directions to someone's house (lest they know a better route than the one you'll find on Google Maps—as a driver, this writer frequently forgoes Google's directions for that reason).
But we can't shake the feeling this whole column is one giant cry for help from Bilton: "Of course, some people might think me the rude one for not appreciating life’s little courtesies. But many social norms just don’t make sense to people drowning in digital communication." Just substitute "people" for "Nick Bilton," and voila. He's someone who's been Let Me Google That For You'd one too many times; someone who has no patience for "irksome communication."
This is him sending a flare signal to the world to leave him alone...except on Twitter. He really likes Twitter! His colleagues razz him on Twitter! He'll even deign to speak to his mother on Twitter...but only on Twitter.
Then there is voice mail, another impolite way of trying to connect with someone. Think of how long it takes to access your voice mail and listen to one of those long-winded messages. “Hi, this is so-and-so….” In text messages, you don’t have to declare who you are, or even say hello. E-mail, too, leaves something to be desired, with subject lines and “hi” and “bye,” because the communication could happen faster by text. And then there are the worst offenders of all: those who leave a voice mail message and then e-mail to tell you they left a voice mail message.
My father learned this lesson last year after leaving me a dozen voice mail messages, none of which I listened to. Exasperated, he called my sister to complain that I never returned his calls. “Why are you leaving him voice mails?” my sister asked. “No one listens to voice mail anymore. Just text him.”
My mother realized this long ago. Now we communicate mostly through Twitter.
Someone really needs to call his mother already. Dude, c'mon, just call your mom. If she doesn't hear your voice, you could literally be killing her. Unless of course you want to risk this happening to you:
Tagged
call your mother
communication
nick bilton
no pleasing some people
ny times
thank you notes
original
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE news
Early Addition: Get to know Wanda, the donkey in the Met's 'La Bohème'
Because she's 18 years old now, here are your early links: The RHONY castmember mentioned in the Epstein Files, killing rats with carbon monoxide, Selena Gomez says don't vape and more.
By
James Ramsay
Published Oct 19, 2026 at 8:26 a.m. ET
Eric Adams' NYC buildings boss Eric Ulrich heads to trial, 3 years after arrest
Ulrich, a former city councilmember, is accused of trading access and favors for cash and bribes. He was the first aide to Mayor Adams charged with public corruption.
By
David Brand
and
Samantha Max
News
Eric Adams' NYC buildings boss Eric Ulrich heads to trial, 3 years after arrest
Ulrich, a former city councilmember, is accused of trading access and favors for cash and bribes. He was the first aide to Mayor Adams charged with public corruption.
By
David Brand
and
Samantha Max
Need help with mental health or addiction services? NYC has a new tool.
By
Caroline Lewis
NYC sues personal injury law firm accused of bogus trip-and-fall claims
By
Walter Wuthmann
NYC Council to consider earlier Legionella reporting after deadly outbreaks
By
Catalina Gonella
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .