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Tyler Clementi's Mother Blames Herself & Evangelical Beliefs For Alienating Her Son
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Aug 26, 2012
Modified Aug 26, 2012
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By
Christopher Robbins
Published Aug 26, 2012
Modified Aug 26, 2012
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Tyler Clementi's mother has left the evangelical church to which she once belonged and have dedicated their lives to promoting acceptance and the prevention of suicides committed by gay teenagers. Jane Clementi told the Times that she in part blamed herself for her son's suicide: “People talk about coming out of the closet—it’s parents coming out of the closet, too. I wasn’t really ready for that.”
Clementi is referring to the text message that Tyler sent a friend three weeks before he committed suicide that coincided shortly after he came out to his parents. "Mom has basically completely rejected me," Tyler wrote, noting that his father was "very accepting."
“So he did have a side that he didn’t open up to us, obviously,” Jane Clementi said. “That was one of the things that hurt me the most, that he was hiding something so much. Because I thought we had a pretty open relationship.” She found that she could no longer attend her church because of its views on homosexuality: "At this point I think Jesus is more about reconciliation and love."
Tyler's roommate, Dharun Ravi, received a 30-day sentence for spying on Clementi, and despite supporting the prosecution's appeal, Clementi's mother says, "It won't change my life one way or another."
“I think some people think that sexual orientation can be changed or prayed over,” she told the paper. “But I know sexual orientation is not up for negotiation. I don’t think my children need to be changed. I think that what needed changing is attitudes, or myself, or maybe some other people I know.”
Tagged
homophobia
live and let live
new jersey
rutgers
tyler clementi
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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