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Free Vibrator Alert: City Says Cockblocked Giveaway Will Rise Again Today
By
Garth Johnston
Published Aug 9, 2012
Modified Aug 9, 2012
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By
Garth Johnston
Published Aug 9, 2012
Modified Aug 9, 2012
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[Update with time and location below] The masses of men and women left unsatisfied after the Bloomberg Administration's Great Free Vibrator Cockblocking of 2012 are still unfulfilled—but Trojan says they're trying to get their toy giveaway buzzing again. And City Hall sounds like they are trying to do everything they can to please their constituents after rubbing them the wrong way on a hot August afternoon.
Still, after hundreds of horny humans had their dreams of free battery-operated stimulation deflated by Nanny Bloomberg's no-fun squad, they've taken to the interwebs and the media to voice their displeasure. "Bloomberg doesn’t want anyone to have fun. You can’t have a giant soda. You can’t have a vibrator," grumbled Melody Henry yesterday. SO TRUE.
And Henry wasn't the only disappointed New Yorker left with proverbial blue balls yesterday. From the looks of Trojan's Facebook page there are a whole lot of people pissed about not just the city's shut down, but the "bush league" manner in which the Trojan's PR handled the giveaway interruptus. "This was the most horribly managed PR event I have ever seen," declared one Caskey Hunsader.
At issue appears to be the fact that after the shutdown some PR reps stuck around taking e-mails so they could send disappointed dildo seekers their toys, but they didn't find everyone. "I stood out on 23rd for a hour," complained Simone Bell. "Not once did a 'rep' approach me and take my email address. I didn't see anyone with the purple shirts I saw earlier taking info (which would have been the proper thing to do instead if jumping in the truck and peeling off)."
"Yeah, I was there and they didn't announce shit, they just drove away while hundreds of unsatisfied women (and men) stood around looking like assholes," commented Kristi Evans. "Thanks Trojan."
Still, the stories of e-mail collections were not an urban legend. A Trojan spokesperson tells us that they did get a number of names and that "Trojan will be honoring the giveaway by sending [those whose e-mails they collected] one of our vibrators soon."
Meanwhile, not everyone was teased by Trojan. Some people actually got their toys. The line at the pitch-perfectly located cart on Pearl and Broad reportedly went "smoothly." And The Daily Beast managed to catch up with a few people on 23rd who seemed pretty happy (before everything went crashing down):
So how many toys did Trojan get to give out? They don't have an exact count just yet. And when will the giveaway resume? Their spokesperson tells us "We're still awaiting final details on next steps and will send you updates as soon as we hear."
But things are already looking very good for the event resuming today. A City Hall rep tells us: "They will be holding their event later today with proper permits."
Update: According to Trojan: "Yesterday was just the foreplay…our toe-curling, record breaking Trojan Vibes giveaway will climax today at 5pm. With official NYC permits in hand (thanks City of New York!), the Trojan Vibrations Pleasure Carts have reloaded and will be serving up pleasure tonight from 5-7 pm in the Meatpacking District on the corner of 14th Street and 9th Avenue. Pick up a complimentary Pulse or Tri-Phoria vibrator while supplies last. First come, first served." See you all there!
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bloomberg administration
free vibrator alert
permits
trojan
vibrator
vibrators
Garth Johnston
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