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700 Geese Near JFK Sent To Special Place Where They Laugh & Play Forever
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Jul 10, 2012
Modified Jul 10, 2012
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By
Christopher Robbins
Published Jul 10, 2012
Modified Jul 10, 2012
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Employees with the U.S. Department of Agriculture rounded up 700 geese in Jamaica Bay yesterday and took them to a special place where they can laugh and bray forever. “We could not afford to sit back and wait for a catastrophe to occur before cutting through bureaucratic red tape between federal agencies,” Senator Kirsten Gillibrand said, referring to the dispute over whether the USDA or the National Parks Service were responsible for sending the geese to a world where old men feed them endless loaves of white bread, and planes chirp "Thank you!" when they poop on them.
According to the Post, it was easy for officials to round up the geese on their kayaks because geese can't fly during molting season. A USDA spokesperson notes that this should eradicate the birds from the region for good. Bird strikes increased in 2010 and 2011 at JFK and La Guardia, and the Port Authority spends lots of time and money keeping them from the runways so we don't have to hear about another hero captain having old-person sex.
Tagged
bird strikes
geese
happy place
JFK
port authority
sully sullenberger
usda
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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