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NY Times Confirms That Romney, Obama Are Both Human Beings
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Jun 3, 2012
Modified Jun 3, 2012
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By
Christopher Robbins
Published Jun 3, 2012
Modified Jun 3, 2012
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You might think that Barack Obama and Willard Romney are, well, completely different in many ways, because they kind of are. But did you know that both are politicians, and most importantly, that they are human beings who need to ingest calories in order to maintain a healthy metabolic rate, and that both of them chew and digest chicken to do so? It's true: The New York Times says so!
From Mark Leibovitch's "Dammit Mark I know it's gorgeous outside and that there's no actual news but we need SOMETHING" piece:
Neither candidate has much stomach for small talk or idle chatter. They have both been called difficult to know and even aloof at times. But if they were to convene for, say, a chicken barbecue—not likely, but whatever—they could explore some shared affinities and experiences.
Oooh! "Whatever?" Go on.
Points of unity: Mitt Romney and President Obama both like process-driven decisions, iPads, ABC’s “Modern Family” and chicken.
Grilled chicken, not fried, in keeping with the shared body-mindedness of the combatants (Mr. Obama does treadmill and hoops, Mr. Romney elliptical and bike). Spicy, too, as Mr. Romney (who often peels the skin off) has demonstrated with his endorsement of the jalapeño chicken sandwich at Carl’s Jr. and Mr. Obama has praised the grilled chicken tacos made by the White House chef.
So what if the President and Governor Romney were to post ads for strictly platonic friendships on Craigslist (not likely, but whatever) looking for "a guy who likes process-driven decisions, the same TV shows that millions of other people like, and Harvard educations," and when they both showed up to Think Coffee at the same time they were like, "No way! Haha this is crazy! We're already bros!" It's not likely, but did you ever consider "whatever?"
Also, their wives are pretty much the same people too when you think about it:
It is possible that the two women would bond at the hypothetical barbecue. As for Mr. Romney and Mr. Obama, they are described as gracious, polite and accommodating in social settings — politicians, in other words. They would exchange firm handshakes with eye contact before parting.
It's also possible they'd bareknuckle box in the Rose Garden for the last Lime-a-Rita because both women have arms but then again, Ann Romney abstains from alcohol, so maybe it'd be a Perrier.
Tagged
2012 election
barack obama
mitt romney
new york times
news
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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