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Bill O'Reilly: Occupy Wall Street Protesters Are "Terrorists" Because They Ruined Jesus Christ Superstar
By
Christopher Robbins
Published May 22, 2012
Modified May 22, 2012
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By
Christopher Robbins
Published May 22, 2012
Modified May 22, 2012
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Important investigative journalist Bill O'Reilly is on to these so-called "protesters" of economic inequality. "This Occupy Wall Street movement is now very coordinated and they are terrorists. They are trying to create trouble. That's what terrorists do," O'Reilly told human paper bag of vomit Laura Ingram last night. But does he have proof? Of course: a random guy accosted him outside a Broadway theater on Friday night after he and three kids saw Jesus Christ Superstar. Strangers + Tim Rice = TERRORISM.
Here's how O'Reilly describes his shocking brush with a terrorist, or just a really angry theater critic:
On Friday I went to see a play called Jesus Christ Superstar on Broadway, I had three kids with me. When I left the theater I was confronted by an Occupy Wall Street guy, he was very obnoxious, he came within inches of my face, I told him there were children present he didn't care, actually chased the car down the street. Now that wasn't an accident.
Indeed. An "accident" is when you accidentally talk too much on someone's voicemail box about doing things to them with fried food and have to pay a huge out-of-court settlement. This is terrorism, plain and simple, and Bill O'Reilly would never, ever do anything like it. Ever.
Laura Ingram sees meaning in the terrorist's choice of venue. "It's ironic you were at Jesus Christ Superstar because they certainly hated him." If there's one thing ordained bishops hate, it's Jesus. Forget "black bloc," what about this insidious new Purple Bloc?
So O'Reilly wants answers, and tonight he plans to "find out where the money's coming from." SPOILER ALERT: it rhymes with the name "Cal Aida."
Tagged
bill o'reilly
broadway
fox
fox news
hilarity
jesus christ superstar
occupy wall street
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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