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Bedbug Forces Rally, Striking Carroll Gardens School And Possibly NYC Criminal Courts
By
John Del Signore
Published May 18, 2012
Modified May 18, 2012
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By
John Del Signore
Published May 18, 2012
Modified May 18, 2012
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There's been a lot of Pollyannaish talk in the past month about how we may be turning the tide in the war against bedbugs, with rosy reports of the city "winning." Last month the city released stats suggesting that bedbug complaints to 311 were still on the rise, but were increasing at a slower pace. Victoryish! It was enough for DNAinfo, which triumphantly declared that the "bed bug epidemic that has plagued the city for nearly a decade finally appears to be waning." Today Patch brings the sad news that the bastards are surging, and have launched a brazen attack on schoolchildren in Carroll Gardens, in direct violation of the Geneva Bedbug Convention.
"My kids go to P.S. 58 and there was a flyer in the kids' folder yesterday stating that it's confirmed that there are bed bugs in the school," a concerned parent wrote to Patch this week. The school is trying to downplay the attack—the principal sent a letter to parents that acknowledging, "We recently found a confirmed bed bug in your child's school," but "finding a bed bug does not mean that our school is infested." And just because Hitler took Poland does not mean he's going to occupy France or anything!
Having already hammered local District Attorneys offices, bedbug forces may also be eying targets in the NYC Criminal Court System. Today we received an email that was distributed to clerks who work in the Criminal Court system, containing specific instructions for how to report a bedbug sighting.
The email does not mention any bedbug sightings, but it does instruct recipients on how to a bed bug sighting in any New York City Criminal Court facility, including holding cells. Calls to the court administrator who sent the memo were not immediately returned, so we can only assume the entire criminal justice system has descended into blood-soaked chaos. Here at Gothamist we, for one, welcome our new bedbug overlords...
Tagged
bedbugs
carroll gardens
parasites
John Del Signore
Originally from the Albany area, John Del Signore has called NYC home since 1995. In addition to his thousands of meticulously-crafted bespoke blog posts for Gothamist, his writing has also been published in The Awl, Deadspin, The Nervous Breakdown, and performed at The Brick Theater in Brooklyn.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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