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<em>Avengers</em> Reviews Assembled: Will This Movie Give You Orgasms?
By
Ben Yakas
Published May 3, 2012
Modified May 3, 2012
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By
Ben Yakas
Published May 3, 2012
Modified May 3, 2012
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Wedged between blockbuster releases such as Mother's Day and A Little Bit Of Heaven, obscure indie flick The Avengers was always a longshot to do any real damage at the box office. Yet somehow, this little-movie-that-could has captured the imagination of a nation with its emotionally complicated tale of a band of misfits learning to work together for the greater good. Also, a healthy serving of destructoporn hasn't hurt. But forget the hype for a moment: if you're wondering if this no-name super hero film is really worth your time, we're here to help you figure it out.
Do you enjoy the "kind of pleasures usually reserved for fan fiction or playground stand-offs?" Then CNN thinks this movie is right up your alley, especially if you also happen to enjoy flip quips and flurries of fight-and-flight scenes. Expecting this to be the greatest super hero movie ever conceived? Movie City News thinks you need to calm down: "I just wish it was actually a really good, memorable summer Movie Movie. And it’s not. It doesn’t suck, but it’s not One Of Those."
But The AV Club thinks you should stop worrying and learn to love the spectacle: "Tasked with meeting the many requirements necessary for any Avengers movie to work, Whedon checks off all the boxes, then sets about creating new expectations for what a big superhero movie ought to be." Big super hero movie? This flick is a boring dud that'll send off you to snoozeland, according to a very cranky Salon: "I felt tired at the end of “Avengers,” for sure, but even more bored and irritated, probably because the pretense of mythic grandeur can’t stand up to the fundamental teenage-boy, men-in-tights silliness of the whole enterprise."
What's wrong with some men-in-tights silliness, wonders NY Magazine, when it gives you ORGASMS? "The Avengers is both campy and reverential. Comic-Con nerds will have multiple orgasms. I had a blast." Certainly there's no way to argue against orgasms—although NY Times writer AO Scott does his best to throw some cold water on that: "The light, amusing bits cannot overcome the grinding, hectic emptiness, the bloated cynicism that is less a shortcoming of this particular film than a feature of the genre." Yeah but...orgasms! So what if they're loud, corporate-owned orgasms?
In conclusion, The Avengers is a movie which opens at midnight tonight, and has already made a gajilion dollars. Personally speaking, we can't wait for the inevitable sequel, in which The Avengers face off against their greatest foe yet: KISS.
Tagged
avengers
critics
films
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reviews
super heroes
the avengers
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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