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Arts & Entertainment

Billionaire Will Build Titanic Replica, Swears It Won't Sink


By

Garth Johnston

Published Apr 30, 2012

Modified Apr 30, 2012


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Too soon?

 


By

Garth Johnston

Published Apr 30, 2012

Modified Apr 30, 2012


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What could possibly go wrong? Because the world is a magical place, we guess, an Australian billionaire has announced his plans today to build the Titanic II, a new luxury liner that will be a near replica of the ill-fated—but very real!—original that sank just over a century ago. Billionaire Clive Palmer says the new boat will be built in China and should be ready for a maiden voyage from England to New York in late 2016. No word on if noted chest beater Celine Dion has been booked for the ride yet.

So what to expect?

Asked today if the Titanic II could sink, Mr Palmer told reporters: "Of course it will sink if you put a hole in it."
He added: "It is going to be designed so it won't sink.
"It will be designed as a modern ship with all the technology to ensure that doesn't happen.
"But, of course, if you are superstitious like you are, you never know what could happen.''
A spokesman for Mr Palmer said the cost of the project was unknown.
"A final budget hasn't been set and I don't think he'll reveal the price to be honest," the spokesman said.
He said the design of the new Titanic would be as close to the original as possible but would have "state of the art engineering" and would run on diesel rather than coal power.

The real question is: how anyone could think this is a good idea. Scratch that. The real question is: didn't anybody else see Titanic II, the 2010 direct-to-video Brooke Burns opus written, directed and starring Shane Van Dyke? Or any other Titanic sequel over the years (see: Starship Titanic and the spaceship Titanic from that Doctor Who episode). Doomed, people! This thing is doomed!

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