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Ladies, You're Just A Cell On A Dude's Dating Spreadsheet
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Apr 17, 2012
Modified Apr 18, 2012
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By
Christopher Robbins
Published Apr 17, 2012
Modified Apr 18, 2012
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No one said a career in Finance was easy—have you seen that Shia LaBeouf movie? So forgive a man if he can't help but take his work home with him to Match.com. A tipster passed along the document above made by a man who works "in finance" who told his date that he uses a spreadsheet to keep track of the girls that are "in process" on Match. What's more romantic than being treated like a list of tax deductions?
We've redacted the photos and the names (including their Match profile name) to protect the innocent, but after he refers to one date as "very jappy" we don't feel bad that he was "stood up" by another at Rosa Mexicano in Union Square. He also has color-coded designations of every other interaction: "Monitor closely (bold = ASAP)" and "Monitor casually," and a brief list of "Other/pipeline." Dude, you're dating, not playing Call of Duty.
Perhaps the best part of this artifact is the email that accompanied it. The man in question writes, "I hope this e-mail doesn't backfire, because I really had a great time and hope to hang again soon." Aww.
Then again, women aren't immune to the temptation to find order in the NYC dating scene through the wonder of spreadsheets. And who could forget that classic Temptations tune, "You're My Everything (Cell Number D14 With The Decent Bod Who Also Works In Finance)" ?
[UPDATE] The gentleman in question spoke with Jezebel:
"I work with spreadsheets a lot," he told us. "It's a great additional tool. I work long days, go to the gym, go out on a couple of midweek dates or what not, get home late...how am I going to remember them? I'm not. So I made the spreadsheets. My comments aren't malicious or mean. This was an honest attempt to stay organized."
He also said that yesterday was "the worst day of his life." Really?
Tagged
dating
dudes
excel
finance bros
match.com
online dating
spreadsheets
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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