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Video: Random Texan Takes On NYC: "It's Kind Of Crappy Here"
By
Ben Yakas
Published Mar 7, 2012
Modified Mar 7, 2012
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By
Ben Yakas
Published Mar 7, 2012
Modified Mar 7, 2012
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It seems the genius of Karl Pilkington has swept through Texas: in the videos below, a Texan man films his "little Texan abroad" Karen as she gives her undiluted critique of NYC from Times Square. And it's without a doubt that Karen is the Tocqueville of her generation: "I'm afraid to talk out loud, it's kind of crappy here. I feel like an ant in an ant hill. They have a bunch of TVs all over the place, I could be sitting at home in my living room watching TV...It's just a bunch of crap." At least there's one thing she likes: "They got a cute pigeon. I saw a cute pigeon."
Among her other utterly wonderful observations, Karen thinks the sirens are too loud, it's too cold outside, it's dirty, and "the people don't look like they know where they're going, they just run back and forth." Karen also believes NYers have been replacing buildings with other buildings without bothering to tear down any buildings—however, it's quite obvious she is still developing her Unified Theory Of Spooky Urban Replacement.
In the second video above, Karen reveals that not only is she an urban historian and buildings conspiracist—she's also a master anthropologist and—dare we say it—philosopher: "I kind of feel like everyone's an alien, and we all just kind of landed here and no one knows what to do, and so you just scurry back and forth with your bags and two-wheelers and carts, and every once in a while they stop and eat a hot dog." It's like she really knows us! But then she has to go and be mean: "And the pigeons, I think the pigeons are actually from here, because they seem to have some purpose and know what they're doing."
For what it's worth, maybe juggling so many hats—philosopher, historian, anthropologist, comedy enthusiast, Texan and conspiracy theorist—prevents Karen from being able to see the inner beauty of the most touristy landmarks in America—after all, she also doesn't see the point of Niagara Falls: "I don't see what the big deal is. It's a bunch of water going over a bunch of rocks."
Tagged
crap
crappy
critique
reviews
texan abroad
Times Square
tourist
tourists
Ben Yakas
Ben Yakas is a former Gothamist reporter.
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Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
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