Gothamist
A non-profit newsroom, powered by WNYC.
Gothamist
Listen Live
News
Can Chris Christie Help Voters Forget Mitt Romney's A Cyborg?
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Dec 28, 2011
Modified Dec 28, 2011
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
Never miss a story
Email address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .
By
Christopher Robbins
Published Dec 28, 2011
Modified Dec 28, 2011
Share
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail
We rely on your support to make local news available to all
Make your contribution now and help Gothamist thrive in 2026. Donate today
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Smelling the blood emanating from Ron Paul's Pamphletgate Redux, Mitt Romney is closing in on the Good Doctor's lead in Iowa one week from the primary. In addition to his $1.1 million ad buy, Romney's bringing out the biggest gun in his arsenal to seal the deal: New Jersey governor Chris Christie, who will be appearing on radio shows and perhaps even at stump speeches. But will that be enough to paper over the fact that Mitt Romney is a cyborg created by a race of lightly salted water crackers from the planet Carrdon, sent here to study and infiltrate the human race? Consider the evidence.
The Times' Ashley Parker and Michael Barbaro spend enough time around Romney campaigning to pick up on his interactions with voters. His familial sensors seem to be damaged, or ill-programmed.
For a candidate who is exceedingly risk-averse, Mr. Romney has developed an unlikely penchant for trying to puzzle out everything from voters’ personal relationships to their ancestral homelands.
“Sisters?” he asked. (Nope, stepmother and stepdaughter.) “Your husband?” he wondered. (No, just a friend from the neighborhood.) “Mother and daughter?” he guessed. (Cousins, actually.)
The results can be awkward. “Daughter?” he asked a woman sitting with a man and two younger girls at the diner in Tilton, N.H., on Friday morning. Her face turned a shade of red. “Wife.”
Oh, Mr. Romney said. “It was a compliment, I guess,” said the woman, Janelle Batchelder, 31. “At the same time, it was possibly an insult.”
There's also the fascination with the English word, "Congratulations."
Mr. Romney likes to congratulate people. For what, exactly, is not always clear.
“Congratulations,” he told a grandmother at an event on Thursday night, presumably because she had a large brood.
Over three consecutive days last week, he congratulated a girl who said she was attending college, a woman who said she owned a small business and a mother who said she was going back to school. “Congratulations!” he exclaimed upon learning that a woman had three children.
And Romney's interface has yet to master emoting what humans call "gratitude."
In Bedford, N.H., he turned to find a man who proudly told him, “You already have my vote.” It was the kind of comment that might normally elicit an expression of gratitude, or an inquiry into the voter’s background.
Mr. Romney replied, “Well, that’s good.”
In fairness, Romney may not have been able to update his vocabulary software in the last month or so, due to a violent meteor shower that destroyed several satellites orbiting Carrdon, but he's going to need a lot more than "good" against Barry. Here's a video of Romney taken before his circuits were properly tweaked.
Tagged
2012 election
barack obama
Chris Christie
cyborg
gop
iowa caucuses
mitt romney
new jersey
planet Carrdon
republicans
robots
Christopher Robbins
Christopher Robbins is a New York City reporter covering transportation, affordable housing, local politics, and criminal justice. His work has also appeared in New York Magazine, The Village Voice and The New York Times. Chris is a graduate of Patrick Henry High School in Roanoke, Virginia, and enjoys biking to Fort Tilden in the summertime.
Read more
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
Gothamist is funded by sponsors and member donations
MORE news
NYC early voting dips compared to 2025, but spikes in majority-Black districts
Mayor Mamdani's robust support for Gov. Hochul couldn’t quite match the level of early voting in 2025.
By
Brigid Bergin
and
Joe Hong
Published Nov 2, 2026 at 6:06 p.m. ET
NYPD officers shoot man in Bronx after he fired at them, police say
The man was shot in the leg and taken to a hospital in stable condition, according to police.
By
Giulia Heyward
News
NYPD officers shoot man in Bronx after he fired at them, police say
The man was shot in the leg and taken to a hospital in stable condition, according to police.
By
Giulia Heyward
Washington Square Park snowball thrower gets community service for pelting NYPD
By
Walter Wuthmann
Stabbing of Brooklyn runner believed to be ‘random attack,’ NYPD says
By
Ben Feuerherd
NYPD wants info from schools after 15-year-old Bronx boy shot and killed
By
Charles Lane
Never miss a story
Catch up on the most important headlines with a roundup of essential NYC stories, delivered to your inbox daily.
Sign upEmail address
By submitting your information, you're agreeing to receive communications from New York Public Radio in accordance with our Terms .